Scribe Report by Sauce for the Goose
Another good turn out with 87 hashers this week and five baht buses needed. At one stage those on baht buses thought they wouldn’t make the run on time because of big traffic jams on the highway. It was thought it may have been because of police clearing the roads to make it easy for VIP’s to travel with the road to themselves, but no, it was just roadworks causing four lanes to blend into two.
A big crowd was at the A-Site and the new Acting GM, THE WIZARD, calls the first circle and brings in four Virgins, Dean from Wales, Mick from Brisbane, Bowonkamon from Thailand and Pui also from Thailand. FRODO and MOSQUITO drink out of their shoes for having new shoes. GM calls in the hares for this run, VV, DEL BOY and DUCHESS TADPOLE. DEL BOY is having a difficult time with his shorts lately and must have exerted himself laying the walk in the morning as his arse is hanging out the back of his shorts. At least that is better than the week before when his dick was peeping out of a slit in the seam of his shorts. The hares explain the run and off we go.
The walk is 4 km with a very artistic well marked split from the runners trail and then follows an easy wide trail through lush vegetation until we come across all the lazy bastards at the Beer Hunters piss stop. There seem to be a few more hangers-on this week. Then a bit more work is required to get back to the A-Site, crossing small streams and walking through cassava and pineapple fields. The runners were already back at the A-Site so must have been shorter than the 7 km promised.
VV was ready with his BBQ and the delicious pork or veal sausages in French bread were quickly sold out.
GM calls the circle and has some announcements that he didn’t have time for in the first circle. DIRT LOONEY tells us about the Jungle Lunar Run on 6 September. GM ices the hares and asks the circle about the run. Front runner, SPERM POLLUTER thinks it was too short but BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK thinks it was the best run. Walkers, including visitors, loved it and all agreed that the trail was very well marked with plenty of paper. Maybe the hares were remembering their last run here and didn’t want hashers getting lost again.
Raffle time again with SIR FREE WILLY. MOSQUITO‘s boyfriend was put on the ice because apparently it is the third time in a row she has won. At least LOST CAUSE didn’t win this week but JACK WOW won again. It was good to see some new faces winning and the last lucky prize went to LIBERACE, a big black cock, much to the delight of the circle. More about that later!
WANK-KING’S WANKER takes the circle and congratulates DUCHESS TADPOLE on being a hare 30 times. The GM calls LADY FLIPPER into the circle and wishes her a Happy Birthday and the Thai girls bring in a birthday cake which she shares. Thank you and Happy Birthday LADY FLIPPER.
The GM calls in DIRT LOONEY, BOB-A-GOB, CRAPPER and JACK WOW and ices them. They are the people he associates with out of Hash and as a way of introducing himself to the Hash he proceeds to make some statements about himself and ask his mates if it is true or false. There were eight questions and each one had to answer and then find out if it as true or not, so all of this took a long time. I wonder if they are still friends after sitting on the ice for so long. I’m still not sure if I know more about THE WIZARD but his answers were very funny all ending with a joke. Well done GM.
Hard act to follow but SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE takes the circle and comments that the hash has more males than females and most of the males bring along their Asian girlfriend or wife. Picks out the supposedly single guys and puts them on the ice – DIRT LOONEY, DEL BOY, PHANTOM, WANK-KING’S WANKER, JACKAL and FRODO. SEAL SUCKER‘s name is repeatedly called but he is lurking in the shadows. When he is finally seen he is put in the bucket. SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE asks each of them why they are still single here in Pattaya when there is an abundance of women and their answers vary but none will admit to being gay. Doesn’t stop SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD singing them a gay song to get them off the ice.
GM puts KARAMBA on the ice with his wife RUNNING DEER and baby and the child is named BABY DEE.
SPERM POLLUTER‘s circle and he ices ARSE-HOLEO who has been in Australia laying bricks. He also ices his friend, a visitor from Perth with a Tagalog name that in English means “Man with much Money.” SPERM POLLUTER says he reminds him of Worzel Gumidge and then ices MR POTATO HEAD, also from Perth and calls them all, “The Pride of Perth” Then puts HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER and PHANTOM on the ice, maybe because they are from Australia and are ugly bastards too.
SPERM POLLUTER brings in the visitor from Bahrain, TENT POLE, and his girlfriend Pui a hash virgin. He asks TENT POLE how he got his name and then produces LIBERACE‘s “big black cock” and proceeds to get him to lie on the ground and puts the big black cock on him and asks his girlfriend to straddle him. SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD couldn’t contain himself and jumped on board and SPERM POLLUTER was just as bad and couldn’t resist giving it a suck. What is it with men and big black cocks?
After all that excitement BURL IVES sings a song for the Hares and BOB-A-GOB, BALL RINGER, BEN 10 and HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER lead the Hash Hymn.
Then it was On-On to Nicky’s Bar for more beers and good food.
PS. DIRT LOONEY‘s voice could still be heard chortling down Soi Buakhao long after the last person had left Nicky’s Bar.
On-On! Sauce for the Goose
Next week’s scribe is to be announced
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 87
Hashers Present Last Week – 56
4 Darunee Galbraith; 14 Wichuda Prakaykaeu; 2 Hana Seslar; 51 ARSE VAN HOLE; 617 BALL RINGER; 210 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 29 BLACK DIAMOND; 41 BOB SNOT HERE; 8 BORING PRICK; 123 BURL IVES; 62 CASPER; 40 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 120 CRAPPER; 93 DEL BOY; 106 DIRT LOONEY; 530 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 5 FLATULENCE; 19 FRODO; 330 FUCK THE TRUTH; 647 G.I. JOE; 310 GANGREEN; 27 GIGGLE TITS; 115 GOLDEN RIVET; 30 HOI WAN; 21 JACK WOW; 714 LADY FLIPPER; 357 LIBERACE; 447 LONE WOLF; 147 LOST CAUSE; 42 MAYO QUEEN; 121 MISS USE ME; 3 MOSQUITO; 29 MR GIGGLE SHIT; 30 MR POTATO HEAD; 761 MRS. HEAD; 201 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 66 PHANTOM; 46 PINK DOLPHIN; 76 POCKET SOCKET; 104 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 75 RASPUTIN; 60 RAT VON KIEL; 53 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 16 SHE’S THE BOSS; 709 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 736 SIR FREE WILLY; 735 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 898 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 8 SPEEDY GONORRHEA; 87 SPERM POLLUTER; 451 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 67 TELLY TUBBY; 58 THE WIZARD; 70 UNSTABLE LOAD; 826 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 347 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 19
2 Orlando Delaet; 3 Peter Golding; 25 ARSE BANDIT; 294 ARSE-HOLEO; 9 BABY DEE; 398 BELL END; 136 BEN 10; 35 BOB-A-GOB; 46 CIA; 29 DEEP THROAT; 781 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 172 GREYHOUND; 14 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 10 HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER; 199 JACKAL; 316 KARAMBA; 21 RUNNING DEER; 242 SEAL SUCKER; 20 VIOS
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 8
1 TENT POLE – Bahrain Hash, Bahrain; 10 CANNON BALL – Bangkok Hash, Thailand; 22 DREGS – Brisbane Hash, Australia; 4 PEDO PETE – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand; 24 MANGO MUNCHER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines; 1 Nok Nai – Unknown Hash; 1 GIDDY UP – Unknown Hash; 3 PSYCHO STRANGLER – Unknown Hash
Virgins – 4
Dean James; Mick Konemann; Bowonkamon Kritikunawat; Pui Lak
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 1
DUCHESS TADPOLE was congratulated for 30 Hared Runs.
Hash Name Events – 1
Khwandee Dinessen was given the New Hash Name BABY DEE.
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday LADY FLIPPER – 28 August.