Scribe Report by Alicia Ward
After the morning rain it turned out to be a very warm afternoon as around 84 Hashers assembled at the compact A-Site just off the 3240 for another fun-filled afternoon with PH3.
GM Mental Disorder calls circle in 5 minutes threatening to put the last one in the bucket, 1 minute later he calls “circle up”, the GM has no concept of time. The usual shenanigans take place, a number of visitors, 3 virgins and of course the new shoes, who all happened to be the virgins, surprise surprise. The Hares, VV and family tell us about the run, shredded paper on the ground and the usual checks and back checks.
Off we go, SPERM POLLUTER and DEL BOY leading the way with SEAL SUCKER trying to keep up. Clever checks and back checks keep the pack together, JACKAL goes down gracefully after tripping over a leaf, letting out his usual scream of pain. DEL BOY does a swallow dive into a big puddle of dirty water, he comes up coughing and spluttering and whinges like a bitch that he’ll probably end up with some infectious disease after swallowing half the puddle.
The FRBs arrive back at the A-Site, all hot, sweaty and out of breath after a 12km slog through a mixture of terrain. Never expect to have dry feet when VV is a hare.
After a delicious BBQ the GM calls the second circle. The hares are iced, all 6 of them, of which 2 of them did the run, never did find out why but never mind. TadpoleTADPOLE took a big shopping bag with her on trail, she said it was to carry her water and not to go jungle shopping, honestly, how can you not believe that cute and innocent face.
Raffle time, the GM announced that SIR FREE WILLY has collected 50,000 Baht from the Raffle this year, with the PH3 making at least 5% of that, (just joking). Anyway SFW conducted the Raffle, and the winners are, LUCKY NUMBER, FORREST HUMP, RAT VON KIEL, BABY HEWY, MOSQUITO and LOST CAUSE.
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER is iced along with JACKAL, after the aforementioned mentioned theatrical performance by JACKAL, GKW hands over the Hash Crash. It turns out that the shouts of agony from JACKAL are depending on his blood sugar levels, and so is his sex life, if the blood sugar is down then he can’t have sex, but he said not to worry because it’s always up (difficult to perform if its not up).
The one and only EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and put the hares on ice, he talks about the 2 distinct groups of Belgians, i.e. VV and family who are all very close and UNSTABLE LOAD and his crew of reprobates. VV‘s brother in law is iced and his girlfriend sits on his lap, it’s time to get named, she has chosen MOSQUITO as her hash name, strange really as she didn’t look like an annoying blood sucking little bitch.
EA then ices a fellow American called Steve, turns out that Steve got divorced which virtually ruined him and he almost went to jail for strangling his ex wife. However, like most of the males on the Hash, Steve found the love of his life here in Pattaya (how sweet), and wanted to take her back to America, so off he toddles to the embassy in Bangkok, only to get rejected. But that didn’t stop Steve, he went to several other embassies in several other different countries (9) in total and got rejected at all of them, but he’s determined to get a visa by hook or by crook.
So it’s time to name Steve, a number of names are bandied about but there can only be one winner, after virtually strangling his ex wife to death, he is now called PSYCHO STRANGLER.
GM has the circle, puts DEL BOY in the bucket for giving his girlfriend his Monkey shirt, FORREST HUMP also gets the bucket treatment for being a Cheap Charlie and not buying his girlfriend a hash shirt. Whilst in the bucket DEL BOY informed everyone he met his girlfriend online a month ago and just met her in person this week. His girlfriend was a bit concerned because she thought SPERM POLLUTER was DEL BOY‘s ex gay lover. Whatever gave her that idea, but it’s better than having SIR FREE WILLY as your Dad.
BALL RINGER get his 600 Run Shirt (blue pastel coloured, extremely gay looking).
The hares are iced and BURL IVES sings the Hare’s Song. Last 4 down down beers are disposed of and BEN 10 leads everyone in the Hash Hymn, another great afternoon comes to an end, but the hardy and the drunken continue on at the On On Bar, the Blue Heeler.
On-On! Alicia Ward
Next week’s scribe is to be announced
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 84
Hashers Present Last Week – 66
12 Wichuda Prakaykaeu; 4 Alicia Ward; 49 ARSE VAN HOLE; 3 BABY HUEY; 615 BALL RINGER; 397 BELL END; 135 BEN 10; 39 BOB SNOT HERE; 34 BOB-A-GOB; 121 BURL IVES; 60 CASPER; 38 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 118 CRAPPER; 91 DEL BOY; 104 DIRT LOONEY; 223 DOG LICKS ITS DICK; 21 DREGS; 528 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1412 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 645 G.I. JOE; 21 GADDAFI’S BRIDE; 15 GADDAFI’S HUSBAND; 308 GANGREEN; 780 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 25 GIGGLE TITS; 113 GOLDEN RIVET; 13 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 14 HARBOR QUICKSTART; 19 JACK WOW; 712 LADY FLIPPER; 355 LIBERACE; 445 LONE WOLF; 145 LOST CAUSE; 204 MARATHON MAN; 40 MAYO QUEEN; 169 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 198 MENTAL DISORDER; 119 MISS USE ME; 27 MR GIGGLE SHIT; 759 MRS. HEAD; 199 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 9 NINJA PRINCESS; 3 PEDO PETE; 64 PHANTOM; 44 PINK DOLPHIN; 74 POCKET SOCKET; 102 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 2 PSYCHO STRANGLER; 58 RAT VON KIEL; 203 RUBBER DICK; 241 SEAL SUCKER; 14 SHE’S THE BOSS; 707 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 734 SIR FREE WILLY; 733 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 896 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 6 SPEEDY GONORRHEA; 85 SPERM POLLUTER; 65 TELLY TUBBY; 56 THE WIZARD; 219 TRY-A-FUCK; 210 TWO TIME; 68 UNSTABLE LOAD; 824 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 19 VIOS; 345 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 11
6 BORING PRICK; 492 EWOK; 7 FORREST HUMP; 28 HOI WAN; 198 JACKAL; 11 JUNGLE MOTHER; 13 LIPOVITAMIN; 18 LUCKY NUMBER; 28 MR POTATO HEAD; 449 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 26 ZENERGY
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3
8 NOISY QUEEN – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
7 SILENT PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
23 MANGO MUNCHER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 4
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 1
BALL RINGER was awarded his 600th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Name Events – 2
Ticky Laotaeo was given the New Hash Name MOSQUITO.
Steve Wilner was given the New Hash Name PSYCHO STRANGLER.
Saints and Sinners – 1
Hash Crash – JACKAL – Took another swan dive out on trail.
~ none this week ~