Scribe Report by Wee Moaning Weasel
Who said I don’t like Mondays? I love em! After a beer in the Buffalo, well all boarded the waiting baht busses to the A site. A nice setting amongst trees.
Grand Master MENTAL DISORDER called the circle and the hares, PELER, DESERT SCORPION, LOVE BOAT and CAMEL HUMPER, explained the run. Off the athletic ones went for their weekly torture while I settled down with my fellow Beer Hunters for some more refreshment.
Being adverse from any form of exercise (lazy bastard), l can’t comment on the run itself but it was later voted as wonderful, very good and too flat. Can’t please everyone.
First runners back but GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER admitted to short cutting. REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD was a wee bit put out by this as he had just helped himself to a couple of Changs from the Beer Truck!
GM starts the second circle. After the hares were thanked for today’s efforts, it was the birthday boys turn for some ice. Their birthday presents included a short time for FUZZY LURE, THE WIZARD got to wash the dishes, and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER got, you guessed it, alcohol! Brought by his fellow jogger, DIRT LOONEY. ‘Happy Birthday, Fuck You’ was sang.
Then it was Raffle time conducted by SIR FREE WILLY as usual. A note for the many winners.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle,and as always ices the hares. He informs CAMEL HUMPER that he has a real man’s name! Then birthday boy FUZZY LURE iced. He was told that cake and candles cost money so he was getting zilch! Then his brother was in for naming. It was decided is new moniker was to be SPLINTER DICK as he works in the timber industry in BC Canada.
Then it was my other half’s turn to be named. She was named WEASEL’S WILLY WARMER. All my idea but I blamed Wee Jimmy for that gem. What are mates for? Now time for the virgins – one from Sweden, one from Ukraine and a lass from the Philippines.
MENTAL DISORDER takes the circle and tells CANNON BALL, GM from BANGKOK FULL MOON HASH, that HERRING CHOKER told him that EMPEROR AIRHEAD is the greatest hasher ever. What a great accolade! Then the virgins bring on a guitar and something that looks like a clarinet and give a version of Prince’s “Purple Rain” and an Eric Clapton cover. BrilliAnt! They even played sitting on the ice!
Now WANK-KING’S WANKER in for anniversaries. CAMEL HUMPER gets his 100 Runs shirt and VV his 800 Runs shirt. Well done to both. PELER in because his name means balls in Indonesian and it also was his 20th Hared Run.
DIRT LOONEY iced for yakking. Then three more noisy ones iced. They confessed to talking about licking pussy! I hate cruelty to animals. Then TAMPAX was asked if he thought ‘The Bunglers’ would be as good as the musicians this week.
Now its SCAR W/2TS turn to take the circle. He calls order because too much noise. JUPILER QUEEN iced for Hash Crash and sitting down. I don’t think she is old enough to complete 500 Runs and she is nowhere near 70!
Then to celebrate our dear queen, Elizabeth Il being on the throne for 65 years all citizens of the UK were iced. This did not include the English for some reason. Then CANNON BALL says his Hashers on the Bangkok Full Moon don’t like ice. REAR GUNNER iced for something I did not catch because of too much yakking. REAR GUNNER and CANNON BALL swap seats from the bucket to the ice.
REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD iced, he went to the University of Glasgow of Alcoholism. He was expelled for being an over achiever! Then NO MORE CUM iced for being a cheap Charlie.
Then MENTAL DISORDER hands the circle to NO MORE CUM. Hash Trash iced for some misdemeanourr. WANK-KING’S WANKER iced for losing the memory card that contained last week’s photos. Because of this heinous crime it was decided he should sit in the bucket.
Hash Trash and TAMPAX given back belongings, including a shirt and sun glasses that they misplaced. Lastly VV thanked for his grand efforts as ‘The Best Brewmaster In The World’. Can’t disagree with that. He leaves Thailand tomorrow. Have a good trip.
Hash Hymn murdered and back to M Club for more swally, where I watched DIRT LOONEY get severely blootered!
I apologise if this scribe is not up to my usual standard but I weren’t informed until the last minute plus a lot of yakking and my pen running out. Thanks to all for everybody’s hard work and making PH3 what it is. See you all next Monday.
On-On! Wee Moaning Weasel
Next week’s scribe is Beetroot Head
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 97
Hashers Present Last Week – 74
6 John Gummer; 5 Ken Real; 102 ANAL CHEESE; 592 BALL RINGER; 49 BEETROOT HEAD; 375 BELL END; 113 BEN 10; 32 BOB SNOT HERE; 25 BOW TIE; 99 BURL IVES; 104 CAMEL HUMPER; 52 CASPER; 26 CROW FUCKER; 96 DESERT SCORPION; 78 DIRT LOONEY; 310 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 506 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1388 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 163 FLYING FINN; 143 FUZZY LURE; 621 G.I. JOE; 284 GANGREEN; 758 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 88 GOLDEN RIVET; 26 HARBOR WHORE; 686 LADY FLIPPER; 423 LONE WOLF; 120 LOST CAUSE; 59 LOVE BOAT; 197 MARATHON MAN; 14 MAYO QUEEN; 148 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 174 MENTAL DISORDER; 97 MISS USE ME; 59 MR CHEAP; 735 MRS. HEAD; 176 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 202 NO MORE CUM; 394 ODD-JOB; 119 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 347 PELER; 2 PERO PERO; 19 PINK DOLPHIN; 163 PINKABOO; 37 POLE FUCKER; 76 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 99 RABBIT SHOOTER; ; 3 RAT VON KIEL; 253 REAR GUNNER; 222 ROBBING BASTARD; 154 RUNNING BARE; 247 SCAR W/2TS; 107 SCARLET PIMPERNEL; 225 SEAL SUCKER; 681 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 708 SIR FREE WILLY; 712 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 871 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 77 SPERM POLLUTER; 430 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 190 STEPTOE; 44 TELLY TUBBY; 30 THE WIZARD; 214 TOM BOY; 23 TOSSA; 6 TRAFALGAR; 188 TWO TIME; 14 ULI’S GOOLIES; 41 UNSTABLE LOAD; 357 VELCRO DICK; 803 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 318 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 4 WEASEL’S WILLY WARMER; 111 WEE MOANING WEASEL
Returners – 11
22 ARSE VAN HOLE; 204 BILLION SUCKER; 15 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 329 LIBERACE; 7 LOVELY LADY; 12 LUCKY NUMBER; 47 NA HEE MAN; 82 NEXT WEEK; 40 PHANTOM; 19 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 427 TAMPAX
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 9
1 RED COCK DOWN – Bahrain Hash, Bahrain
8 CANNON BALL = Bangkok Hash, Thailand
15 HOT LIPS HOOLIGAN = Bangkok Hash, Thailand
6 JUPILER QUEEN – Grand Duchy H3, Luxembourg
8 SPLINTER DICK – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 Martin Duckett = Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
22 MR POTATO HEAD – South of Perth Hash, Australia
7 GADDAFI’S BRIDE – Unknown Hash
2 PERO PERO – Unknown Hash
Virgins – 4
Leavers – 2
Anniversaries – 3
PELER was congratulated on his 20th Hared Run.
VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR was awarded his 800th Run T-Shirt.
CAMEL HUMPER was awarded his 100th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Name Events – 2
Keith Reid was given the New Hash Name SPLINTER DICK.
Somvaen Jaipun was given the New Hash Name WEASEL’S WILLY WARMER.
Saints and Sinners – 0
Hash Crash – JUPILER QUEEN – She took a spill on the trail.
~ none this week ~