Scribe Report by Burl Ives
The Palm Oil Run
Down Polo Road, past the Solar Farm then right turn down past the Polo Club into the sand pit areas. Very quiet, very private and lots of space for parking. Cloudless sky and 28°C, 75% humidity, perfect for running…NOT. There was a very good turnout with over 100 people showing up.
The First Circle and On Out
Called by our GM stand in SCAR W/2TS who introduced the hares who then explained their run and the markings. Red Checks/FT’s and Blue Back Checks, around 6.5 km distance for the Rambo’s, 4 Km for the Wimps and off we went into the Palm Oil Plantation.
The Run/Walk and On In
The well-marked trail led through the Palm Oil plantation dirt roads with everyone playing follow my leader, as you could see for miles ahead where the trail went, but no one was complaining as the 3km Rambo/Wimps split came up and the Wimps came in 1km later. SEAL SUCKER, as usual, much to all the Wimps delight, was first back.
A Note on Palm Oil for Those Visiting the Area.
Palm oil is grown in Thailand (Malaysia and Indonesian) traditionally for its oil, which is semi solid at 20 °C. It is extracted from the “bunches” that grow between the fronds on the trees. The semi solid oil is fractionated by heating up to 80 °C and cooling down slowly to 28-24 °C where the Palm Stearin crystallises and is then filtered out. The liquid fraction Palm Olein is that nice yellow oil that you see on the shelves in Big C/Tesco. The stearin was traditionally used in Margarine production and was also used in Cocoa Butter (Chocolate fat) substitutes that go into chocolate in the UK. Recently the stearin has been in great demand for Biodiesel, which is incorporated at the 5% level in Thai Diesel.
After the usual cooling down period, the GM ordered the second circle and FREE WILLY got the weekly Raffle underway.
Second Circle, Down Downs and Icing
|GM||WINDOW WANKER||Hash Crash – Crash while training for run.|
|BAHT BUS GESTAPO
|Hash Trash – Left umbrella at A-Site.|
|WANK-KING’S WANKER||Award: Wooden plaque for Web Master|
|Virgin with flip-flops||East German|
|REDCOAT (returner)||Sings: “Fosters round your nether region
told a tale on you”
|JACK WOW and BOLLY WOOD||100+ short times at TQ|
|SIR RSB||GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER
|Sang serenades to each in Glaswegian
|GM||John (winner of pink nightie
raffle prize last week)
|Video taken of what went on with latest
girlfriend wearing same shown to circle.
|Going home so both girlfriends up for rent.|
|SCAR W/2TS||Polly Glove||No Hash Shirt|
|HORSE||Father again, baby now 10 weeks old.|
|Talking in the circle (Question: Is this not allowed? I
thought the hash was supposed to be a social event!)
|PRINCE OF SPIN||Demonstration given|
|TOM BOY||All the Thai Girls||Iced: “If you love your friend, ice ’em”|
Hare Song & Hash Hymn
REDCOAT gave a fine rendition of “Nothing could be finer than to Nung Pan your regina in the morning” and finally all the Thai girls lead the ensemble in the hash hymn.
Observation from the Scribe
Having visited many hashes in the ASEAN region it’s always interesting to watch how people perform in the circle. There are those who obviously have had some management experience and swan into the circle, oozing confidence, taking all the banter from the circle on the chin and giving as good as they get. Then there are those who have not had said experience and shout and bully their way through their performance, telling everyone to shut up and listen to them, thereby killing the atmosphere in the circle…shame!
On On to the AGM next week where allegedly “NO MORE CUM” will be re-named ”ALREADY GONE”
On-On! Burl Ives
Next week’s scribe is Redcoat
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 108
Hashers Present Last Week – 77
3 Dusan Artac; 3 Renata Artac; 4 John Gummer; 2 Marjan Ostaner; 2 Tik Wannapa; 193 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 67 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 590 BALL RINGER; 47 BEETROOT HEAD; 373 BELL END; 111 BEN 10; 203 BILLION SUCKER; 30 BOB SNOT HERE; 4 BORING PRICK; 97 BURL IVES; 102 CAMEL HUMPER; 18 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 98 CRAPPER; 24 CROW FUCKER; 94 DESERT SCORPION; 76 DIRT LOONEY; 308 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1386 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 161 FLYING FINN; 619 G.I. JOE; 282 GANGREEN; 756 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 291 GERMAN SHEPHERD; 5 GIGGLE TITS; 86 GOLDEN RIVET; 24 HARBOR WHORE; 120 HELIUM HEAD; 684 LADY FLIPPER; 55 LADY SNAKE; 118 LOST CAUSE; 195 MARATHON MAN; 12 MAYO QUEEN; 146 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 172 MENTAL DISORDER; 95 MISS USE ME; 57 MR CHEAP; 7 MR GIGGLE SHIT; 733 MRS. HEAD; 174 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 81 NEXT WEEK; 392 ODD-JOB; 59 ONE MORE TIME; 345 PELER; 39 PHANTOM; 17 PINK DOLPHIN; 61 POCKET SOCKET; 35 POLE FUCKER; 74 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 31 RAT VON KIEL; 220 ROBBING BASTARD; 105 SCARLET PIMPERNEL; 679 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 706 SIR FREE WILLY; 710 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 869 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 223 SKIING FINN; 125 SPECIAL PRICE; 428 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 426 TAMPAX; 28 THE WIZARD; 150 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 212 TOM BOY; 21 TOSSA; 4 TRAFALGAR; 186 TWO TIME; 12 ULI’S GOOLIES; 171 UP THE BUTT; 355 VELCRO DICK; 801 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 316 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 18 WHORE IN THE WINDOW; 16 WINDOW WANKER
Returners – 23
4 Sorphorn Meas; 3 Ken Real; 67 BANANAS; 65 BLUE NOSE; 50 CASPER; 504 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 141 FUZZY LURE; 164 GREYHOUND; 153 HORSE; 73 INVISIBLE MAN; 228 KEE MAH; 11 PENELOPE PITSTOP; 49 PISSED AS A RAT; 109 PRINCE OF SPIN; 81 PUSSY FUCKER; 370 RAMBO WW2; 174 REDCOAT; 245 SCAR W/2TS; 223 SEAL SUCKER; 33 SLIPPERY SAM; 18 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 75 SPERM POLLUTER; 39 UNSTABLE LOAD
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 7
1 SAMBA LA BAMBA – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
2 JACK WOW – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
23 BOW TIE – Hastings Hash, UK
4 HOT LIPS – Hong Kong Hash, HK, China
1 VIBRATOR – Hong Kong Hash, HK, China
19 SHORT TIME – Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
1 BOLLY WOOD – Unknown Hash
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 1
ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA
Anniversaries – 2
TINY ANAL TORPEDO was congratulated on completing his 150th Run.
CASPER was congratulated on completing her 50th Run.
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 3
Hash Trash – LADY SNAKE – Left the umbrella at the A-Site.
Hash Trash – BAHT BUS GESTAPO – Let LADY SNAKE leave the umbrella at the A-Site.
Birthdays – 0
~ none this week ~