Scribe Report by Knob Marley
Ho Ho Ho Merry Xmas and off we began for our annual Christmas Run. As the convoy of baht bus taxis left the Buffalo Bar it was obvious this would be a good turn out. We soon arrived at A-Site adorned with Xmas tree and festive music ringing in the air. Good A-Site that is regularly used but is always good on special runs when large attendances are expected.
After sign ups and a couple of new shoes and mumblings about check backs etc., we are then led off by ODD-JOB on his motorbike like rats following the Pied Piper. Soon we come across paper and off we go. As always with this hare a good run and not too long which is always useful (day after Xmas). In under an hour most arrive back at A-Site where the usual mingling and social drinking begins with the Xmas tones still buoyant in the air.
VV provided food in the form of sausages two kinds. I asked what the were and he said, “These are veal.” So I said, “If these are veal are the others vealy good?” But then he said, “No, they are pork.” Anyway the circle is upon us.
GM MENTAL DISORDER calls circle and Hares on in just to get things going. Then its over to GI JOE (stand-in FREE WILLY) for Raffle time. GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, ZEAL SUCKER, PAPRIKA SMILEY and WANK-KING’S WANKER are among the mainly male winners which is not normally the case it always seems to be the cracks that clean up on these occasions.
GM then regains circle and ices DIRT LOONEY and a friend for talking. While we await the highlight of the circle and within minutes there he is, SANTA HIMSELF and his little helper doing a strange little dance. Then its on-in all children to collect gifts. Then special gifts for SQUEEZE MY TUBE, LOST CAUSE, TWO TIME and MENSTRUAL DISORDER for the contributions to the Hash. Then more presents for the ladies in order of run totals beginning with TADPOLE and BELL END. SANTA then thanks all involved in the hash for another good year. This all seemed to work well and not the usual free for all we have seen in the past. So well done SANTA and his gang.
No sooner had SANTA left and EMPEROR AIRHEAD emerges from the background and enters the circle, he then proceeds to ice the ever growing number of Belgians who he describes as like cockroaches under the fridge. If you try to get rid of them but they come back as more. (I actually like this comparison).
Then hares are called in and all agree was a good run. A member of the Bangkok contingent said it was fantastic so hares all good and they are then called upon to sing a song. Whilst they did not produce a vocal classic, the size of child like smile on EMPEROR AIRHEAD‘s face as in unison the 3 hares hats started wiggling to an electonic sound said it all. Well done hares.
RASPUTIN then iced for making a fool of himself in TQ the previous night and also it was his birthday and he received a birthday “bread”. Then on ice Uli von Berlin, a German guy to be named and after EMPEROR AIRHEAD spends several minutes reading his well researched life history he is named ULI’S GOOLIES, on the basis that while the story was being told his balls were hanging out and his name is Uli (how fickle we are).
Then on ice VV, brother ZENERGY and ZENERGY‘s daughter Megan and some story about both being her dad. Didn’t really get that part (but maybe that’s Belgian humour?). Megan is then recalled to ice and after a bit of confusion EMPEROR AIRHEAD names her JUPILER QUEEN, that’s what I heard and are therefore reporting in the scribe. And as for the crazy Belgian that came to me snatched my pen to write a different name needs to take up such matters with mis-management. As a scribe I only write what I hear.
We are then entertained by ‘The Bunglers’ singing a very electrical version of “Fairy Tale of New York” which was fitting as TAMPAX is spitting image of Shayne McGowan.
VV then takes circle and presents TWO TIME and RASPUTIN with real birthday cakes, GM then takes over and presents TWO TIME and TADPOLE with chocolate penis they apparently left behind at a party.
WANK-KING’S WANKER then on in to oversee awards including TADPOLE 500 Runs and now receives title of DUCHESS TADPOLE. Then in MENSTRUAL DISORDER 40 Hared Shirt and POCKET SOCKET 50 Run Shirt. This was all going so well until WANK-KING’S WANKER took a bite from the chocolate penis and to say he got side tracked is an understatement.
Then in was KNOCK OUT NEPTUNE from Bangkok, who received a positive reception from LONE WOLF who gave him a note in the form of F### ### YOU ####, still it is always nice to see visitors partake in circle, thank you Bangkok Hashers. Then it is the turn of our very own SIR C.F. who never fails to make me and most others laugh with his almost Monty Python style comedy. This week a tale using a bamboo root as a prop (genius).
LONE WOLF then ices GASBAG for complaining about he is too rough and may not encourage hashers to come back. I personally think LONE WOLF is good and what GASBAG must realise that sometimes some one must suffer. It’s like a bullfight. I don’t particularly agree with that and i am sure the bull doesn’t either. However it is his suffering that fills the arena, and while GASBAG has a point that it may defer a few, it is these acts that bring many others back. As i am sure he found out at the end as I requested the GM to put him in the bucket. He may not have liked it but the look on the faces of the virgins/ visitors and even his “FRIENDS’ he was standing with all thought it was funny.
Then we had a couple of sheep jokes by APPLES TURNOVER and DIRT LOONEY, LONE WOLF then tried to ice PHANTOM, but for some reason all the Belgians appeared (these are not very bright), and it all got a bit messy after that. So with almost half the circle in the circle it was Hash Hymn and away on the convoy back to TQ for deep fried chicken and chips. “Ooch” hope I was only one who burnt fingers on chips (I would think so.)
Well, and so an end to another hashing year. Well done to all involved, with numbers well over 100 it is in good health and whilst it seems every week someone is moaning about something, you cannot please all. But I think mis-management are doing very well and have a good balance. Hope no one offended by anything as all hash humour. Until next year HASHY NEW YEAR TO ALL.
On-On! Knob Marley
Next week’s scribe is to be announced
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 124
Hashers Present Last Week – 68
4 Stefan Joist; 3 Sorphorn Meas; 4 Jeremy Normanton; 139 ANTIQUE; 64 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 586 BALL RINGER; 369 BELL END; 107 BEN 10; 21 BOW TIE; 93 BURL IVES; 16 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 94 CRAPPER; 72 DEL BOY; 72 DIRT LOONEY; 304 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1382 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 157 FLYING FINN; 617 G.I. JOE; 278 GANGREEN; 11 GASBAG; 752 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 83 GOLDEN RIVET; 12 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 20 HARBOR WHORE; 116 HELIUM HEAD; 48 IM LAO; 226 KEE MAH; 192 KILL BENNY; 123 KNOB MARLEY; 52 LADY SNAKE; 326 LIBERACE; 419 LONE WOLF; 1075 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 115 LOST CAUSE; 191 MARATHON MAN; 8 MAYO QUEEN; 142 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 168 MENTAL DISORDER; 91 MISS USE ME; ; 30 MRS. HEAD; 68 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 170 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 114 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 8 PENELOPE PITSTOP; 36 PHANTOM; 13 PINK DOLPHIN; 57 POCKET SOCKET; 27 RAT VON KIEL; 217 ROBBING BASTARD; 221 SEAL SUCKER; 675 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 706 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 866 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 219 SKIING FINN; 16 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 121 SPECIAL PRICE; 426 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 188 STEPTOE; 422 TAMPAX; 24 THE WIZARD; 18 TOSSA; 184 TWO TIME; 8 ULI’S GOOLIES; 36 UNSTABLE LOAD; 351 VELCRO DICK; 312 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 14 WHORE IN THE WINDOW; 12 WINDOW WANKER
Returners – 37
13 Paal espen Antonsen; 2 John Gummer; 9 Alan Taylor; 4 Supatra Thuekratok; 39 APPLE CIDER; 97 APPLE SAUCE; 116 APPLE TREE; 65 BANANAS; 62 BIGGUS DICKUS; 27 BOB SNOT HERE; 51 BULLTRACK; 259 CRACK MY COCCYX; 145 CROCODILE; 501 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 57 HAWKEYE; 72 INVISIBLE MAN; 189 JACKAL; 103 KIDNEY STONE; 24 KUNG FU QUEEN; 138 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 10 LIPOVITAMIN; 589 MASTER BATES; 90 MUD CRACKER; 36 MUD’S CRACK; 94 NO TRUCKING IDEA; 388 ODD-JOB; 341 PELER; 54 PHONEY CUNT; 70 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 72 RASPUTIN; 159 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 102 SCARLET PIMPERNEL; 231 SCRUMPY; 393 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 797 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 108 WEE MOANING WEASEL; 30 WHINGER
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 14
1 Ploy Gearren – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
1 Noy Tomlinson – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
1 JACK WOW – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
3 LUCAN MADE ME CUM – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
3 JUPILER QUEEN – Grand Duchy H3, Luxembourg
11 CRAZY GERMAN – Nadi Hash, Fiji
1 Andre van der Sluys – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
22 ZENERGY -Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
1 Joseph Rofflat – Phuket Hash, Thailand
4 PATPOM – Siam Sunday H3
4 SNAKE BITE – Siam Sunday H3
1 KNOCKOUT NEPTUNE – Unknown Hash
1 MAX FACTOR – Unknown Hash
1 PILLOK – Unknown Hash
Virgins – 5
Jean Pierre Beelen
Jean Luc Fryns
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 4
MENSTRUAL DISORDER was awarded her 40 Hared Runs T-Shirt.
RASPUTIN was congratulated on his 5th Hared Run.
TADPOLE was congratulated on completing her 500th Run and named DUCHESS TADPOLE in commemoration.
POCKET SOCKET was awarded her 50th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Name Events – 2
Megan Dropsy was given the New Hash Name JUPILER QUEEN.
Uli von Berlin was given the New Hash Name ULI’S GOOLIES
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday MENSTRUAL DISORDER – 30 December.
Happy Birthday RASPUTIN – 26 December.