Scribe Report by Pole Fucker
The one man band known as VV this week hared the run/walk, organised the beer, drove the truck, prepared the food and cooked the BBQ. A true Hasher!!
Knowing VV I was expecting the worst, hills, shiggy and river crossings but to celebrate 150 hares VV actually laid a great trail through the pampas grass, tapioca plantations and woods. Runners and walkers both reported back positively and nobody got lost.
The conditions of the site chosen for the circle can only be described as a mud bath and resembled an army training ground for elite forces. (The latest hash T-Shirts resembling army surplus being perfect for the conditions).
NO MORE CUM opened the circle and congratulated and thanked VV on 150 hares – an amazing commitment to PH3.
This was followed by the usual razzle, dazzle and humour of SIR FREE WILLY and the Raffle. A mystery prize was donated by HEIFER DUST. Even after the Raffle nobody except the winner knows what it is. The winning numbers where: 06584, 06804, 06741, 06051, 06555, 06838, 06986, 06707 and 06904. Tough if you went home early because all prizes have been claimed.
Many thanks to the FLYING FINN for passing Belgium chocolates around the circle.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD then took command of the circle and as is customary invited the hare VV to take a seat on the ice. The EMPEROR eulogised VV only to knock him down for a circle site described as ‘horrible, never seen a circle like this’. He decreed that VV had ‘no mates’ as he had set the run alone so found one to join him on the ice (POLE FUCKER).
The EMPEROR commented on the magnificence of the Hash signs – being of the correct dimensions and colour. EMPEROR AIRHEAD then introduced the birthday Hashers: SPANKINSTEIN (who flew in especially from Alaska), HONEY BEAR, EMPEROR AIRHEAD , LONE WOLF and EBONY PRINCESS.
When introducing the virgin Gudrun J. the EMPEROR for once in living memory lost control and threw his notes into the nearest bin! Who is the virgin and where does he come from was too much for him!
WANK-KING’S WANKER then announced important anniversaries and dates. He must be getting old because he voluntarily sat on the ice to test his wary legs.
‘Our greatest hare’ VV was presented with ‘not just a chair but a throne chair’ to celebrate 150 hared runs.
BEN 10 was presented with Fast Track Racing game for 100 runs.
LOST CAUSE thanked for 5 hares (hat given last week).
PUGSLY was presented with a designer polo shirt for completing 50 runs.
NO MORE CUM then took control of the circle. THE WIZARD, LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and the Beer Hunters were invited to take a seat on the ice. Why were the hunters reluctant to come forward – only 1 of 19 accepted the kind offer of free beer on the ice from the GM?
The GM then managed to confuse most of the circle with the rather bizarre expression “she had a fanny like a wizard’s sleeve”.
It was noted by the GM that a minor miracle had occurred on the hash with the transformation of character of GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER from Beer Hunter to FRB.
There followed a great naming of COLONEL CORNHOLE‘s three daughters: SNAP, CRACKLE and POP.
MENTAL DISORDER was then invited to take charge of the circle and promptly named the LOVELY LADY (aka Anabela). This was quickly followed by PUGSLY, GOLDEN RIVET and MR BEAN being iced. What was the common denominator of the three men was soon apparent when their respective partners were asked to enter the circle: LOST CAUSE, MEKONG DELTA and EBONY PRINCESS (big milk milk springs to mind)!! All demanded their partners be put in the bucket – and so they were.
The reverse process then took place with LOST CAUSE, MEKONG DELTA and EBONY PRINCESS being iced and then their respective partners demanding they be put in bucket (except for EBONY PRINCESS).
CHICKEN DUNDEE was then named having completed 12 runs. The ‘Cambodian Support’ Hashers were then thanked and gratitude shown by being iced! It was reported that TURD BURGLAR found true love in Cambodia and was iced to cool his enthusiasm and passion.
Finally LONE WOLF took command of the circle. He promptly iced the GM for thinking he was skiing not hashing with his 2 new poles. The GM proudly announced that he had moved from leather to Lycra.
COLONEL CORNHOLE gave a superb rendition of a Pakistani song. The Belgians (next week’s hares) then introduced and iced. The Circle was closed with the usual anthem: Sweet Chariot.
On-On! Pole Fucker
Next week’s scribe is Biggus Dickus
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 101
Hashers Present Last Week – 65
6 Johannes Fink; 9 Joep Janssen; 7 Ragnar Johansen; 2 Robert Koelemeiter; 8 Onanong Kruewangpom; 7 Alan Taylor; 581 BALL RINGER; 364 BELL END; 102 BEN 10; 35 BLACK JUSTICE; 19 BOW TIE; 88 BURL IVES; 98 CAMEL HUMPER; 12 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 146 COLONEL CORNHOLE; 8 CRACKLE; 21 CROW FUCKER; 301 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1377 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 152 FLYING FINN; 137 FUZZY LURE; 613 G.I. JOE; 273 GANGREEN; 747 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 78 GOLDEN RIVET; 16 HARBOR WHORE; 46 HEIFER DUST; 677 LADY FLIPPER; 321 LIBERACE; 134 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 414 LONE WOLF; 110 LOST CAUSE; 9 MEKONG DELTA; 86 MISS USE ME; 726 MRS. HEAD; 165 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 193 NO MORE CUM; 385 ODD-JOB; 111 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 338 PELER; 31 PHANTOM; 29 POLE FUCKER; 8 POP; 51 PUGSLY; 22 RAT VON KIEL; 214 ROBBING BASTARD; 197 RUBBER DICK; 80 RUDI VOELLER; 670 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 699 SIR FREE WILLY; 701 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 862 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 12 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 6 SNAKE SNACK; 8 SNAP; 69 SPANKINSTEIN; 422 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 65 STREET CLEANER; 497 TADPOLE; 38 TELLY TUBBY; 70 TESTICLES; 205 TOM BOY; 31 UNSTABLE LOAD; 794 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 307 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 22
5 Loan Nguyen; 136 ANTIQUE; 49 BULLTRACK; 227 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 89 CRAPPER; ; 0 DESERT SCORPION; 68 DIRT LOONEY; 49 FINGERLESS; 25 HOI WAN; 153 HONEY BEAR; 86 LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS; 51 LOVE BOAT; 3 LOVELY LADY; 163 MENTAL DISORDER; 155 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 251 REAR GUNNER; 68 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 2 SLAP’S DAD; 185 STEPTOE; 41 SUGAR DADDY; 210 TRY-A-FUCK; 206 TURD BURGLAR
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 13
2 BIG BIC – Chang Rai Hash
3 DANGEROUS – Donington Hash
5 MARCUS SKIDDUS – Dublin Hash, Ireland
10 EBONY PRINCESS – Kampala H3, Uganda
19 THE WIZARD – Lompok H3, Indonesia
17 BOB-A-GOB – Mefeking Hash
1 Rikiko Higa – Okinawa Hash, Japan
14 SLAP – Okinawa Hash, Japan
17 ACTIVE X – Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
7 MARC SEX – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
10 THE BLADDER BLOW – Tokyo Hash, Japan
1 Francios Masciola – Unknown Hash
11 MR. BEAN – Vientiane Hash, Laos
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 4
Anniversaries – 4
VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR was awarde his Hared 150 Chair
LOST CAUSE was awarded her 5th Hared Run Cap.
PUGSLY was awarded his 50th Run Polo Shirt.
BEN 10 was presented a Dinky Toys set for his 50th Run.
Hash Name Events – 6
VLAD THE IMPALER was given the Hash Name BOB-A-GOB.
Lode Stockmans was given the New Hash Name CHICKEN DUNDEE.
Anabela Pinaroc was given the New Hash Name LOVELY LADY.
Adriana Kornberg was given the New Hash Name SNAP.
Casandra Kornberg was given the New Hash Name CRACKLE.
Elina Kornberg was given the New Hash Name POP.
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday HONEY BEAR – 21 November,
Happy Birthday LONE WOLF – 24 November.
Happy Birthday SPANKINSTEIN – 21 November.