Scribe Report by Sauce for the Goose
Well, two baht buses left promptly just before 3:30PM but the third baht bus, when it arrived, sat there and sat there and GI JOE said we were waiting for HONEY BEAR who had rung to say she would be late. At 3:45PM after more calls to MENTAL DISORDER it transpired that it wasn’t Honey Bear we were waiting for, but SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE who had been there since 3:25PM with her two visitors. More of that later.
After late sign-ins at the A-Site near the Asian University, GM MENTAL DISORDER calls in the one virgin, Ray McIntyre, and a visitor, Katie, from NZ. The Hares, DEL BOY, MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER explain the run saying there are no false trails and its downhill all the way and is boring as shit according to DEL BOY.
Well DEL BOY was right and it was an easy walk on a dirt trail for the Virgin and Visitor. According to the runners there was some confusion with no paper for a long time and checks not laid through but they all made it back safely with RUNNING BARE back first.
GI JOE takes the circle and tells us about the American Independence Day Run next week and promises free food. He puts the Hares on the ice and HULK stands in for DEL BOY who seems to have disappeared. Good to see him back earlier and see he is all in one piece after hearing tales of tubes up his nose and other places.
Raffle time with SFW and GI JOE takes the beer, MISS USE ME the Magic Mop, SEAL SUCKER the T-Shirt, LADY SNAKE the wine, HARBOUR WHORE the wine cooler and BELL END the prayer rug.
GM takes the circle and puts all EU Hashers on the ice. All seemed to be happy to get rid of the Brits and sing “Fuck Off You Cunts”. Then it’s the turn of the British on the ice. 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE not happy at all but the others seemed OK with it which is not what they thought last week but maybe it’s because they are Scots and think they will get their own independence soon and stay in the EU.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the Hares and this time SEAL SUCKER is nominated to take DEL BOY‘s place. NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER is iced as it is his birthday and is given a birthday cake which looks strangely like an enormous bread roll. Next, WEE MOANING WEASEL and FREE WILLY are on the ice as EMPEROR AIRHEAD says they are from the same city and have the same craniology and must have the same parents but WEE MOANING WEASEL is insistent that he doesn’t know SFW or PUSSY FUCKER who is also from London so EMPEROR AIRHEAD concludes that all perverts must come to Pattaya to meet.
GM takes the circle and ices the Beer Hunters and the Thai crack for being allowed to join the Beer Hunters. She assures the GM she wasn’t molested or offered money. Maybe it’s because her boyfriend, SUGAR DADDY, was there.
WANK-KING’S WANKER takes the circle and has a hard time controlling the talkers so ices a succession of noisy bastards, finishing with HARBOUR WHORE who is still making noise as he leaves so is put in the bucket along with the other Belgian.
WANK-KING’S WANKER finally gets round to doing the job he was assigned, giving the awards. LADY FLIPPER gets her 600 Runs Cap, SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC 650 Runs award and MENTAL DISORDER 150 Runs award.
GM takes the circle and ices GI JOE, POCKET SOCKET and CRAPPER for the baht bus mix up earlier. Poor CRAPPER was iced because he’s in charge of POCKET SOCKET. GI JOE‘s excuse was, well HONEY BEAR‘s always late, but think he must be getting hard of hearing.
All Kiwis put on the ice. Visitor Katie was asked if she wanted to trade in her partner, the Virgin, Ray. She was given choice of GANGREEN, SUGAR DADDY, SFW and someone else I couldn’t see. All had to show what they could offer. SFW produced the biggest wad of cash so he was chosen. Just shows, money’s more important than looks and as a popular T-shirt in Pattaya says, “No Money, No Honey”.
The Leavers and Returners enter the circle to lead the Hash Hymn and then it was off to the Boomerang Bar for more beer and good food.
On-On! Sauce for the Goose
Next week’s scribe is Wee Moaning Weasel
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 68
Hashers Present Last Week – 45
2 Alene Gallupo; 2 Sunisa Guiney; 236 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 563 BALL RINGER; 75 BURL IVES; 71 CRAPPER; 130 CROCODILE; 1360 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 595 G.I. JOE; 253 GANGREEN; 728 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 62 GOLDEN RIVET; 18 KEE CHANG; 659 LADY FLIPPER; 304 LIBERACE; 398 LONE WOLF; 94 LOST CAUSE; 45 LOVE BOAT; 63 MASTER CHEF; 127 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 150 MENTAL DISORDER; 73 MISS USE ME; 709 MRS. HEAD; 149 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 47 PISSED AS A RAT; 114 POCAHONTAS; 39 POCKET SOCKET; 55 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 79 PUSSY FUCKER; 182 RUBBER DICK; 137 RUNNING BARE; 34 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 206 SEAL SUCKER; 62 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 650 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 681 SIR FREE WILLY; 681 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 845 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 31 SLIPPERY SAM; 377 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 35 SUGAR DADDY; 415 TAMPAX; 21 TELLY TUBBY; 15 UNSTABLE LOAD; 286 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 21
5 Alexander Van hulst; 54 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 352 BELL END; 90 BEN 10; 47 BIGGUS DICKUS; 45 BULLTRACK; 56 DEL BOY; 17 GIVE ME ONE; 157 GREYHOUND; 5 HARBOR WHORE; 42 HAWKEYE; 115 HULK; 177 JACKAL; 43 LADY SNAKE; 79 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 328 PELER; 240 REAR GUNNER; 482 TADPOLE; 64 TESTICLES; 5 VIOS; 105 WEE MOANING WEASEL
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 1
1 Katie Berry – Brunei Hash
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 2
SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE
Anniversaries – 3
LADY FLIPPER was awarded her 600th Run Cap.
SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC was congratulated on completing his 650th Run.
MENTAL DISORDER was congratulated on completing his 150th Run.
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER – 27 June