Scribe Report by Gas Man
We all gathered at the dustbowl selected by the hares MENTALS, CRAPPER and POCKET SOCKET. Noticeably absent was GANGREEN, who has developed a phobia about Baht Buses, so severe the maniac tried to jump off one whilst in motion last week. A selection of virgins were there, in particular three that were dumb enough to run in an assortment of flip flops.
Off we went, walkers on a 4 km trail, runners about 6.5. Fuck, I knew I should have gone with WEE JIMMY and the Beer Hunters. All up not a bad run, nice checks, shit terrain etc.
Worst point was we lost VV, all the fat cunts were milling around bleating to be fed. Best Point was we also lost GAS GUZZLER, which made my life more peaceful for a half hour. While we were not worrying about our missing friends, LINEAR wandered in. “Hey LINEAR, where’s your car?” Nose down in a ditch. Better him than me… You and GANGREEN should carpool mate.
Seeing our Fuehrer LOADS MORE CUM was absent again sorting out a master plan, MENTAL DISORDER took the show over. I had to find a chair being the Scribe, so I stole one that was certified to take my weight, WILLY‘s gay pink chair. Usual start with Hares on ice, WILLY did the raffle, I got some booze.
The EMPEROR came in and sorted out the Hares in his usual way and the virgins. A few with no shirts, AIRHEAD iced them and slammed one of the cheap cunts in the bucket.
The Krauts got put on the ice, with one of them to be named. Many options there were, PUSSY LIPS, the ever popular ANAL FISTING, PUBIC DISCHARGE, LUBRA LIPS. But the winner was GERMAN KUNT KISSER. (If we just called him German Cunt, we wouldn’t know which one was being referred to.) AIRHEAD finished and fucked off back to TQ before we could praise him on his 1350 Run. MRS. HEAD was gracious enough to hang around to be thanked for 700 Runs though, and TAMPAX had his 38th Birthday (dyslexic?)
The MENTAL CASE took back over, iced SCAR, GI JOE and MR HAPPY for being really fucking dumb and getting lost. Don’t worry JOE, the boys looked after SQUEEZE for you. He then got GASMAN on the ice, and GAS GUZZLER elected the bucket rather than sit with me. The fucking rag then got me chucked in the bucket as well.
The mad Norgie, SCAR W\2TS gets next crack at the circle. Harassed the virgins again about too cheap for shirts . They’ll either buy some or not come back. He had a pair of glasses, lost 2 weeks in a row. Our Treblinka survivor WANK-KING’S WANKER slithered out to get them. How long before he loses them again?
Next victims were me and the guzzler. She again elected the bucket, and SCAR interrogated her about my bruises caused by her domestic (erotic?) violence in the Gas Chamber. Have trained her well, don’t talk to the bad man, just deny,deny,deny…… LINEAR was also put under the spotlight, asked why he parked his car vertically in a ditch. At least it wasn’t upside down this time mate.
Got The Bunglers on in to sing us a song, they gave us a rendition of “Wish You Were Queer” well sung. Some clowns thinking we were auditions for Thailand’s Got Talent tried to join the singing, but kept on fucking up “Hotel California”.
Closed with a few group splashes, and sang our anthem. Onon was back to Nicky’s Place in Soi Buakhow, where we got fed well with a fabulous casserole. Cheers Nicky!! Ononon was out with SCAR, can’t remember how perverted that become.. in fact I remember very little.
On-On! Gas Man
Next week’s scribe is Ball Ringer
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 66
Hashers Present Last Week – 44
4 Chanaradee Tasan; 226 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 185 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 132 ANTIQUE; 46 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 553 BALL RINGER; 45 BEETROOT HEAD; 344 BELL END; 82 BEN 10; 67 BURL IVES; 62 CRAPPER; 124 CROCODILE; 51 DEL BOY; 1350 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 34 FUNNY BUNNY; 586 G.I. JOE; 32 GAS MAN; 4 GERMAN KUNT KISSER; 174 JACKAL; 649 LADY FLIPPER; 35 LADY SNAKE; 168 MARATHON MAN; 121 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 141 MENTAL DISORDER; 64 MISS USE ME; 14 MR POTATO HEAD; 5 MR. HAPPY; 700 MRS. HEAD; 139 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 30 POCKET SOCKET; 237 SCAR W/2TS; 671 SIR FREE WILLY; 671 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 836 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 53 SLACK VAGINA; 402 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 371 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 215 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 6 STUPID SOUR KRAUT; 473 TADPOLE; 405 TAMPAX; 8 TITTY TOUCHER; 770 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 276 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 14
5 Marc Ceuppens; 5 Id Malthe; 2 Jeffrey Truax; 5 Reggy Van hove; 9 GAS GUZZLER; 52 GOLDEN RIVET; 155 GREYHOUND; 114 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 84 LOST CAUSE; 48 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 71 RASPUTIN; 105 SCOOBIE DOO; 126 THAT’S THE ONE; 202 TRY-A-FUCK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3
8 VLAD THE IMPALER – Mefeking Hash
15 JUNGLE PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
2 Marc Van Geyrt – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 5
Maxim Van hove
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 2
MRS. HEAD was congratulated on completing her 700th Run.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD was congratulated on completing his 1350th Run.
Hash Name Events – 1
Mike Schwagerus was given the New Hash Name GERMAN KUNT KISSER.
Saints and Sinners – 0
Hash Crash – LINEAR ACCELERATOR – Drove his car into a ditch at the wrong A-Site, and then went out on trail looking for paper and got lost.
~ none this week ~