Scribe Report by Marathon Man
I was supposed to write the scribe report for last week’s
sausagefest VV’s BBQ, but due to bureaucratic interference, have ended up with a sausagefest of a different kind. SCAR W\2T’S and BELL STAR were the Hares for today’s run.
First, let me bitch about the location: I love it! I love the A-Site and I especially love the running area, but fuck me, what a pain in the arse to get there! The Hares discovered this for themselves, much to their cost. Second class citizens, those who ride motorbikes, aren’t allowed on the freeway any more. Okay, we never were, but now that they have started to enforce it with hefty fines, we have to find another way around. Wait until the tollway starts operating.
Never mind, it gave me the opportunity to stop off for a couple of beers along the way. Since the bar was well-staffed with visually (and possibly mentally) impaired ladies who thought I was handsome, I also stopped in again on the way home.
So, I arrived at the A-Site, and what’s the first thing I see? SPAGHETTI HEAD picking up sticks off the road. This is fine and I often see him doing this, but not 100m from the A-Site on the edge of a main road. Where the fuck was his minder?
Sign ups, waiting for the baht buses to arrive, laughing at the poncy FRBs stretching and warming up – the usual preamble to any Hash run and then MENTAL DISORDER calls for a circle. Welcome to the visitors and virgins. Were there any? I can’t remember. Drinks for any bugger silly enough to show up with new shoes, and then a request for any announcements.
“Yeah. You’re ugly.” Hardly a revelation, but the stand-in GM threatens a turn in the bucket later, until he realises that the offender won’t be there later and ices him immediately.
Hares come in to tell us about the run. “Not too short, and not too long”, hanging paper, checks etc in red, starts down there to the right.
GI JOE takes off at the front of the pack, and we let him have his moment of glory until we get to the first check. After that he’s on his own. And by the way, where did he get to? He still wasn’t back when I left.
Excellent run for a Monday, not too short and not too long, just as promised. Very tricky checks and a good variety of terrain. I enjoyed it very much, so thanks to the Hares.
But never mind all that. You want to hear what happened in the circle. Well tough shit! I wasn’t there, I left early. As I always do.
And BALL RINGER? When you heard that I was writing the Scribe report, you asked me to “please make it funny”. Well tough shit!
On-On! Marathon Man
Next week’s scribe is Gas Man
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 68
Hashers Present Last Week – 55
4 Loan Nguyen; 3 Mike Schwagerus; 3 Chanaradee Tasan; 225 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 45 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 552 BALL RINGER; 44 BEETROOT HEAD; 343 BELL END; 81 BEN 10; 197 BILLION SUCKER; 66 BURL IVES; 61 CRAPPER; 123 CROCODILE; 50 DEL BOY; 282 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1349 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 148 FLYING FINN; 33 FUNNY BUNNY; 585 G.I. JOE; 243 GANGREEN; 31 GAS MAN; 6 GROUCHO MARX; 648 LADY FLIPPER; 34 LADY SNAKE; 294 LIBERACE; 167 MARATHON MAN; 53 MASTER CHEF; 120 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 140 MENTAL DISORDER; 63 MISS USE ME; 13 MR POTATO HEAD; 4 MR. HAPPY; 699 MRS. HEAD; 322 PELER; 29 POCKET SOCKET; 151 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 236 SCAR W/2TS; 52 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 640 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 670 SIR FREE WILLY; 670 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 835 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 52 SLACK VAGINA; 401 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 370 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 29 STOOL MOVER; 61 STREET CLEANER; 214 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 472 TADPOLE; 404 TAMPAX; 60 TESTICLES; 7 TITTY TOUCHER; 347 VELCRO DICK; 769 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 275 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 11
4 Matti Hartikka; 184 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 131 ANTIQUE; 53 BANANAS; 25 BELL STAR; 11 FRODO; 173 JACKAL; 53 MR CHEAP; 138 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 34 POL DANCER; 5 STUPID SOUR KRAUT
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 2
1 Allan Worth – Kuala Lumpur Hash, Malaysia
1 SHITTY SHRINKARE – Taipei Hash, Taiwan
Virgins – 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers – 2
Anniversaries – 4
SCAR W/2TS was congratulated for Haring his 10th Run
FLYING FINN was awarded his 5 Hares Hat.
SQUEEZE MY TUBE was awarded her 400th Run T-Shirt.
DEL BOY was congratulated for completing his 50th Run.
Hash Name Events – 2
Tommy Drews was given the New Hash Name STUPID SOUR KRAUT.
36B had her Hash Name changed to TITTY TOUCHER.
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD – April 11.