Scribe Report by Stool Mover
While taking notes for this weeks scribe I notice the local police raiding the circle and have a memory flash back.
Its 1989 in London and the Acid House rave scene has exploded in Britain, it’s the biggest youth revolution since the 60’s and I was involved in it as deep as you could be. At the time I was DJing on a pirate radio station Cool FM and playing sets at massive illegal raves in open fields, Warehouses etc. We was in a place called Radlett in Hertfordshire on the outskirts of London, we had just broken in to a disused warehouse and was setting up the sound system and lighting, ravers were turning up already. This was a free rave, as we would make up the money on selling E’s and drinks.
Thousands were arriving then the police arrived. Prime Minister Thatcher had dedicated a special police force to stop illegal raves and they were forming outside the venue. All the ravers were in the venue partying hard high on ecstasy and LSD, it was dawn and getting light outside I was on the decks mixing the music when suddenly the Police decided to raid the warehouse. In they marched in full riot gear shining torches and marching round the outskirts of the building. They looked like storm troopers as they starting moving with shields and batons, forcing the drugged up ravers into the middle. I decided it was time to leave, so I grabbed one off the record decks and ran towards a fire exit that had been kicked open.
Outside it was kicking off all over the place, fighting my way through the madness I head towards a nearby train station with a handful of ravers hotly pursued by four police officers. As we ran onto the train platform a train is there waiting, we board the train and just as the police get near, the door closes. The look of disappointment in their faces was priceless. We all stuck are middle fingers up at them laughing as the train pulls away.
The rap group NWA album straight out of Compton had a track called, FUCK THE POLICE.(couldn’t have said it better myself)
So run 1661, firstly lets talk about the A-Site, I was gonna use this site last year but the trail up to the site had been washed away by heavy rain and it was impossible to drive up. Most would say the same today. A lot of people were complaining about the steep dirt road up, but once at the top it boasted a great view but very narrow area for a circle.
As for the run it was excellent, plenty of checks, FT’s and was well papered and had all the elements you expect from a STEPTOE and BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK run.
Once back at the A-Site we crack on with the circle and NMC announces the passing off two fellow hashers SIR ARSEHOPPER and CONDOM, we all show our respect by singing a hymn. Next the Hares STEPTOE and BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK are iced, everyone agrees an excellent run.
SIR FREE WILLY does the Raffle then it’s EMPEROR AIRHEAD‘s turn to ice the Hares, they’re complimented for good signs and views at the A-Site but the parking was rubbish.
Next on the ice is LINEAR ACCELERATOR, we hear that last week he drove into a motor bike injuring a women passenger, the police turn up and make him take the women to hospital in his car which he does with full police escort, once there he manages to get off without paying any hard earned cash to the wailing women. We now have our very own Hash Ambulance service.
POCKET SOCKET is invited into the circle as last week she won the Golden Ticket award. She proudly shows of the golden bracelet purchased with the ticket. Lucky lady eh.
It was this point that I noticed the police at the edge of the circle and have my flash back, in true hash spirit EMPEROR AIRHEAD looks over at them and says don’t worry it all sort itself out and carries on the circle as normal.
The police were taking photos and videoing everything as hashers were eating their stash. Turns out there’s a Chief of Police living nearby and a Police Station a couple of hundred yards away from the main road and they must have seen all the cars parked at the bottom and came to investigate, looking for yabba and over stayers I heard. For the time being we don’t show skin on the ice while being filmed.
WANK-KING’S WANKER ices PHONEY CUNT and awards him 50th Run Award.
NMC brings LIBERACE, VV and PUSSY FUCKER on the ice and thanks them for all the hard work they do cleaning up after the circle. KNOB MARLEY and his girlfriend BIG LUNGS are on the ice next, apparently KNOB MARLEY has to do his own clothes ironing at home, surely not. I always say if you want a job done properly do it yourself eh mate.
SHEIK MEME takes the circle and ices the Hares, and starts tearing into to them in classic MEME style, he might be short but he’s got sharp teeth and barks loud. More complaining about the A-Site and the poor Hares get a bucket load off it.
Next we hear about how SHEIK MEME recently watched the movie Brokeback Mountain while SCAR W2T’S and SIR FREE WILLY sit on the ice. The theme now starts to turn gay but you’re not gay if you’re the giver SHEIK MEME admits.
REAR GUNNER and PHONEY CUNT are iced next for being air stewardesses, and we all know how gay those stewards are on Quantas Air.
NMC makes an announcement that the police are waiting at the bottom, who cares there’s still plenty of beer to drink they’ll be waiting a long time.
SCAR W2T’S buckets MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY, the crazy Belgium has war paint on his head and a drunken stare, (the lights are on, but no-one’s home) and he’s a virgin is iced for not having a hash shirt, instead he’s dressed in some kind of sarong and string vest combat camouflage playing a harmonica (definitely MGKIG friend). BIG LUNGS is back on the ice for being a fast runner today and PHONEY CUNT for being a FRB.
MENTAL DISORDER takes the circle next and ices SIR FREE WILLY, why didn’t you sell the police a Hash Shirt…. MD suggests they were friends of SHEIK MEME and turned up late in order to cadge a free run.!
We finish off with a song from the Hares about saggy tits then it’s on to the famous TQ’s bar for pukkah food and beer. When we get to the bottom of the dirt road the police have fucked off. They were back at the station uploading the videos they took of us online. The bus drivers take a very different route back to TQ’s avoiding any police that might be waiting for us on main routes.
On-On! Stool Mover
Next week’s scribe is Pussy Fucker
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 89
Hashers Present Last Week – 58
5 Tor-hugo Antonsen; ; 3 Lynn Brewster; 5 Philip Jackson; 188 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 54 BURL IVES; 216 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 40 CIA; 251 CRACK MY COCCYX; 49 CRAPPER; 110 CROCODILE; 272 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1335 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 23 FUNNY BUNNY; 572 G.I. JOE; 229 GANGREEN; 68 GOLDEN DILDO; 102 HELIUM HEAD; 105 HULK; 54 JINGLE BALLS; 19 KATOY MAGNET; 118 KNOB MARLEY; 634 LADY FLIPPER; 280 LIBERACE; 78 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 32 LOVE BOAT; 11 MANGO MUNCHER; 10 MILKY WAY; 51 MISUSE ME; 61 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 128 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 177 NO MORE CUM; 96 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 312 PELER; 51 PHONEY CUNT; 44 PISSED AS A RAT; 102 POCAHONTAS; 18 POCKET SOCKET; 76 PUSSY FUCKER; 142 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 12 ROCKY BALBLOWME; 172 RUBBER DICK; 125 RUNNING BARE; 222 SCAR W/2TS; 626 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 656 SIR FREE WILLY; 656 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 41 SLACK VAGINA; 28 SLIPPERY SAM; 107 SPECIAL PRICE; 388 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 168 STEPTOE; 357 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 36 SUPERVIRGIN; 66 SUZY WONG; 135 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 755 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 262 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 27 WHINGER
Returners – 24
33 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 538 BALL RINGER; 45 BANANAS; 330 BELL END; 68 BEN 10; 8 BIG LUNGS; 193 BILLION SUCKER; 16 BOY NAMED SUE; 36 DEL BOY; 39 GOLDEN RIVET; 217 KEE MAH; 24 LADY SNAKE; 107 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 71 LOST CAUSE; 128 MENTAL DISORDER; 40 NA HEE MAN; 151 PINKABOO; 36 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 235 REAR GUNNER; 196 SHEIK MEME; 14 SHIH TZU; 213 SKIING FINN; 22 STOOL MOVER; 459 TADPOLE
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 2
2 Gene Parisa – Bangkok Thursday Hash, Thailand
10 JUNGLE PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
Virgins – 5
Leavers – 2
MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY
NA HEE MAN
Anniversaries – 0
~ none this week ~
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~