Scribe Report by Rubber Dick
“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.” – Mark Twain
FREE WILL inserted me into being scribe at very short notice and this is why I demanded AIRHEAD ride his bike to the A-Site instead of the comfort of my car. The day started off soaking wet with heavy downpours. But luckily it improved as zero hour approached. The hares for today, JACKAL and friends and his co-hare ONE EYED SPAG, waited impatiently for the cowards seeking refuge in their cars.
NO MORE CUM called the circle and the first item on his agenda was to inform the masses of the new rules concerning beer consumption. ALL beers to be opened when removed and ONE beer for the bus only……That means YOU.!!!!! However this new law went out of the door faster than a fart in a fan factory.
He let the Beer Hunters leave first as they had further than normal to go than is usual. New shoes dealt with and the virgin from England with the new shoes and strange ideas of how to “pull a bird” in Pattaya had to drink out of his muddy daisy’s.
Then the pack were off and as usually SHEIK MEME arrived late trying to ponce a free run. GANGREEN thrust the Hash camera to take photos on the run but the lazy midget only ended up taking photos of himself on his ‘selfie’.
G.I.JOE found a short cut which the lemmings followed making the run only 4 kilometres long much to SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD’s disgust as two weeks previous he had advised everyone to bring a torch.
Meanwhile a few of of us gathered at the back of NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER‘s truck to puff on the shesha and to put the world to rights. Most got back early so there was drinking aplenty and generous bullshit en shewed.
NO MORE CUM, without his mismanagement, unilaterally called the second circle. Hares on ice as per usual and it was generally considered a good run in difficult circumstances. Raffle time and sorry guys but all I remember was the donation of Australian flip-flops by Swiss Hasher BLACK JUSTICE ……. Never trust a country that speaks four languages.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle to ice returners Mr & Mrs HULK who have just returned from Germany where they donated their house to five Syrian families one of which allegedly was LINEAR ACCELERATOR.
Uwe “CHEAPER THAN MEME / MR CHEAP” is then iced for confusing everyone with his multitude of names….. Sorely tempted to change his name the dastardly deed was put on ice ( sic ) until the German police decide whether our cheap mate is honest or otherwise.
As the rain started up again SUZY WONG was pole dancing against SMM at an attempt to get under his huge umbrella. Then GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER pulled out his tiny umbrella in a game of umbrella poker.
Awards and boy did we have fun then with a one eyed SPAG, a rat-arsed WKW and of course SFW all trying to get it right. However here goes.
- CROCODILE……………..100 Run Anniversary
- STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS…Probably just as support for his miniature wife.
- ROBBING BASTARD……..74th Birthday.
- JACKAL…………………5 Hare Cap
- STREET CLEANER………………..50 Run Mug
- MENSTRUAL DISORDER…………..100 Run Shirt
- BB…………………………..100 Run Shirt
- HULK………………………..100 Run Shirt
- PELER………………………..300 Run Shirt
As SCAR W/2T’S took the circle SMM whispered in my ear “This will be as funny as cot-death” ……..and so it proved.
SMM tried to strut his stuff but had to endure a continuous barrage of abuse from BANANA BENDER making ‘work’ difficult. SMM stuck BB in the bucket for his pains. Revenge is a dish best served cold so as soon as BB got the circle he dumped SMM in the bucket himself.
A sailor from Vanuatu who had circumnavigated his own ego was placed in the bucket and enjoyed it so much he did not want to get out. Various nationalities were thrown on ice and the rulers of the known world, The English, were criticized yet again for their lack of sporting prowess.
BB then ices all the French and laments his own deficiency in linguistic skills but was helped by SFW who taught his the word for “Go Forth and Multiply” causing much amusement for the sitting Gauls.
The absence of JUSTIN BIEBER was noted and it was explained he was on tour with his band Crosby,Nash and Ying.!!! Hash Hymn strangled and it is on the happy hour at Jameson’s.
See you all next week.
On-On! Rubber Dick
Next week’s scribe is B.B.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 71
Hashers Present Last Week – 43
214 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 531 BALL RINGER; 26 CASPAR; 212 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 42 CRAPPER; 12 CROW FUCKER; 266 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1327 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 120 FUZZY LURE; 564 G.I. JOE; 223 GANGREEN; 714 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 47 JINGLE BALLS; 628 LADY FLIPPER; 272 LIBERACE; 65 LOST CAUSE; 44 MASTER CHEF; 102 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 123 MENTAL DISORDER; 120 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 171 NO MORE CUM; 88 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 304 PELER; 148 PINKABOO; 19 PISS ON IT; 12 POCKET SOCKET; 232 REAR GUNNER; 165 RUBBER DICK; 117 RUNNING BARE; 214 SCAR W/2TS; 194 SEAL SUCKER; 192 SHEIK MEME; 43 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 618 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 648 SIR FREE WILLY; 648 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 51 SPERM POLLUTER; 380 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 161 STEPTOE; 54 STREET CLEANER; 127 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 747 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 254 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 21
2 Loan Nguyen; 101 B.B.; 30 BLACK JUSTICE; 17 BLUE SKY; 38 CIA; 103 CROCODILE; 46 FINGERLESS; 15 FUNNY BUNNY; 148 GREYHOUND; 101 HULK; 163 JACKAL; 160 MARATHON MAN; 48 MR CHEAP; 679 MRS. HEAD; 190 ROBBING BASTARD; 815 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 33 SLACK VAGINA; 350 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 62 SUZY WONG; 193 TRY-A-FUCK; 29 TWINKLE DICK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 7
1 DANGEROUS – Donington Hash
25 POLE FUCKER – Harare, Zimbabwe
2 BIG WIG – Maputo Hash
2 MAMA MIA – Maputo Hash
1 Theerapat Paowana – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 Thawanrat Paowana – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
12 KERMIT THE FROG – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
POLE FUCKER having completed 25 visitor runs is now a full member of PH3.
Virgins – 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers – 1
1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE
Anniversaries – 5
JACKAL was awarded his 5th Hared Run Cap.
B.B. was awarded his 100th Run T-Shirt.
HULK was awarded his 100th Run T-Shirt,
MENSTRUAL DISORDER was awarded her 100th Run T-Shirt,
STREET CLEANER was awarded his 50th Run Mug,
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday ROBBING BASTARD – 15 Nov