Scribe Report by Sauce for the Goose
A good crowd gathered at the Buffalo Bar and as word had got out the night before that DEL BOY was now the hare and not FREE WILLY, three baht buses were needed to transport the enthusiastic participants to the A-Site. Unfortunately the last two buses overshot the turn-off and got lost. WANK-KING’S WANKER had to pull the Hash Sheet out of his bag to check where we were meant to be and our fate was in ANFI‘s hands as he was put in the front with his GPS.
All this meant the run was off to a late start. Fortunately there were no new shoes or virgins so DEL BOY hurriedly explained the checks were marked in black and it was a long run so we’d better get going. He wasn’t kidding – 13.5km according to RUNNING BEAR. Luckily I decided I had done enough running the day before and decided to stick with MRS HEAD. Wise move. First we came across a false trail and another check marked in black that was hard to see and then took a left turn through some tapioca fields and past a lake then back on the road. Got back after 40 minutes and hardly anyone there. Even the Beer Hunters weren’t to be seen and when they turned up there wasn’t a Front Runner in sight. They managed to get in two large beers instead of their usual one. 6.15pm and still the first runners weren’t back. Word was out that everyone was lost and a decision was made to open the bar.
Finally, at 6.30 the first runners, including SEAL SUCKER and RUNNING BEAR, arrived back. “What happened, were you lost?” “No, just a long f…g run”
WANK-KING’S WANKER finally got the circle underway, not before SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD had arranged the ice to his satisfaction. Hares were put on the ice- DEL BOY and FREE WILLY joined him. The consensus was the run was too long.
FREE WILLY took the circle to do his usual job with the Raffle and there were ten winners with ODD JOB taking the helicopter.
SHEIK MEME, funny as a flea in a fit as usual, took the circle and the visitor from Okinawa, FINGER ME MR FRODO, gave him an introduction song. SHEIK MEME promptly puts the two American visitors on the ice and jokes that they have a president who has a camel as a pet. As he was leaving the ice, FINGER ME MR FRODO whacked his bum in front of the Filippinas so was put in the bucket.
Hares were back on the ice as as it was LADY FLIPPER‘s birthday SHEIK MEME thought about buying her a present but didn’t know what to get a lady who has nothing. Someone suggested a new husband. It was suggested FREE WILLY bullied DEL BOY into doing a long run and DEL BOY could have put the blame on FREE WILLY but being the gentleman that he is said the run was long because he had to go round the solar panels and the checks were black because that’s the only colour the shop had.
LIBERACE was on ice because it was his birthday. WANK-KING’S WANKER was born in the same year and month but who would guess it. Just shows you what a life of debauchery can do to you.
MENTAL DISORDER took the circle and put TRY-A-FUCK on the ice. Poor man. The day before he lost his wallet with lots of money in it as he had just returned from the hash in Malacca. He was in a bad mood and thinking some Thai bastard had stolen all his worldly goods when SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE turns up at the Hash and hands him a beer cooler and says, “Is this yours? I found it in my pack last night” Lucky for him she didn’t throw it out as she thought it was just a beer cooler. SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD tried to insinuate, unsuccessfully, that TAF had left it at SAUCE‘s place the night before. Moral of the story, check whose bag it is especially if you’ve got one of the 3000 from the Pan Asia Hash Run.
WW takes the circle again and puts the leavers on the ice, ARSE-HOLEO, MR POTATO HEAD and GASMAN with the Filipinas on their laps. The Hammersley Wankers led us in their Hash Song and then in the Hash Hymn to end a good evening.
Some of us adjourned back to the Boomerang Bar for more beers and fun.
“Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall be endlessly amused.” Lao-Tzu
On-On! Sauce for the Goose
Next week’s scribe is GI Joe.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 73
Hashers Present Last Week – 45
4 Mark Stoker; 174 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 283 ARSE-HOLEO; 20 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 189 BILLION SUCKER; 38 CRAPPER; 94 CROCODILE; ; 25 DEL BOY; 99 DIRT DIGGER; 259 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 13 FUNNY BUNNY; 556 G.I. JOE; 213 GANGREEN; 704 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 6 GORILLA; 39 IM LAO; 183 KILL BENNY; 19 KISS ME DOWN UNDER; 618 LADY FLIPPER; 262 LIBERACE; 98 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 373 LONE WOLF; 55 LOST CAUSE; 159 MARATHON MAN; 99 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 120 MENTAL DISORDER; 670 MRS. HEAD; 57 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 110 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 63 PISS POORER; 90 POCAHONTAS; 27 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 108 RUNNING BARE; 25 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 190 SEAL SUCKER; 188 SHEIK MEME; 608 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 638 SIR FREE WILLY; 638 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 806 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 31 SLACK VAGINA; 373 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 341 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 390 TEENY WEENY; 244 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 19
2 Beer Khatmai; 7 Melissa Shook; 27 Jackson Shook; 209 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 521 BALL RINGER; 45 BUTTERFLY INFERNO; 6 FRODO; 6 GAS GUZZLER; 143 HONEY BUNNY; 158 JACKAL; 115 KATOY ANAL MASTURBATOR; 35 MASTER CHEF; 31 MUD’S CRACKER; 363 ODD-JOB; 34 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 24 SHOOTING STAR; 32 SWEET BUNNY; 455 TADPOLE; 191 TRY-A-FUCK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 9
16 THE RETURNEE – Auckland Hash, New Zealand
7 RED ROCKET – BH3, California, USA
24 GAS MAN – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
9 POCKET SOCKET – Makiti H3, South Africa
1 FINGER ME MR FRODO – Okinawa Hash, Japan
11 CRASHER – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
11 OUT OF ORDER – Phoenix Hash, Arizona
6 MR POTATO HEAD – South of Perth Hash, Australia
4 HIV NEGATIVE – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
Former visitor DEL BOY is now a PH3 member having completed 25 Runs.
Former visitor SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE is now a PH3 member having completed 25 Runs.
Virgins – 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers – 3
MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY
Anniversaries – 0
~ none this week ~
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
LIBERACE – 31 Aug