Scribe Report by Sheik Meme
ARSE-HOLEO and KISS ME DOWN UNDER our international guest hares eight kilometers out along Phoenix and off to the left. Some good running country and plenty of room to get em lost. And that is just what happened to TEENY WEENY, who incidentally could not be iced or bucketed due to a recent rectum realignment operation. And why? Because he was saying stupid shit when KARAMBA was explaining the benefits of shoving coffee enemas up your arse, and he has paid the ultimate sacrifice. For getting lost, Nevile won that round in the longstanding battle of the bogans!
Missing in the A-Site at the start of the run was our long-suffering Grand Master in WANK-KING’S WANKER and his duties were carried out by GI JOE who took the helm like Marlin Brando in that film that I have never seen!
The Run itself was a lazy 4.2 K’s, and as you would expect that the guilt driven fat bastards that set out to complete the run were very pleased with themselves having completed the entire run.
Around the beer truck was very sociable when your scribe arrived on a benzine propelled chariot way before the beer hunters and way after the front runners, get that! You could tell that things were happening when we see the likes of SUPERVIRGIN, PISS POORER, FINI and KATOY MAGNET staring over to the GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER faction and see him in deep jovial dialog with TOMMY TWO LIPS and FLAKEY with LONE WOLF hovering just outside the inner circle awaiting the opportunity to pass on the intel of another hilarious story that will propel him to the upper echelons of the Mr. Funnies.
So at 1136 hours GMT (1836 local) on 24 August 2015, the real Grand Master WANK-KING’S WANKER gets the circle underway and what happens next is so predictable that the Germans would have lost the war years before had the allied forces been fully aware like we are at, at the PH3!……… “Hares On In” and so it begins. If the Germans were not so on time, the Poms would never have discovered the VOR (VHF Omni-Directional Radio Range) and the airline industry would be in a shambles with planes getting lost all over the world just like TEENY WEENY today.
That fkn GM, he has never missed his commitment to be the chaperone for the visitors and locals alike at the Baht Bus, and regularly arrives at 1500 hours and motivates the troops into paying zero attention to any propaganda that FREE WILLY tries to peddle, which is purely designed to unhinge the weak and to feed the really sadistic (sorry Jimmy) devil that dwells deep within the FREE WILLY fabric!
Nonetheless, on this occasion, when telephoned from the circle, the GM was shocked to find out that it was actually Monday! ……(and August and 2015 for that matter). Without any concern for his own safety he took on the Shukhimvit on his scooter to prevent FREE WILLY from destroying his dream of a united happy PH3.
The Grand Master’s cave is so covered in PH3 stuff! I visited the PH3 cave where the Grand Master lives just last week. As with Thai custom I went to remove my shoes upon entering and was apprehended by the GM who said “leave your shoes on!”. I inquired as to why and he said, “I don’t want you to get your feet dirty”. This place is insane, database calculations everywhere, computer stations humming and PH3 shit everywhere!
He has artist renditions of NO MORE CUM on the wall running through shiggy (my favorite) and even one in a German battle uniform, another of NMC flying with the Red Baron. LONE WOLF on stage to a crowd of hundreds of thousands with his pecks, that only an artist impression could emulate, with the masses laughing at LW‘s brilliant humor. This place is a must see!
One artist impression with SCAR W/2T’S as a young man surrounded by these hot woman, go figure! The GM? One painting that the GM has commissioned, is of LIBERACE on a ski jump, fully airborn, with a cigarette hanging out his lips, having an epileptic fit!……. I roomed with a guy in college that had epileptic fits, I loved it, whenever he had one in the bath, I would throw my dirty washing in.
Predictable…… that’s right, the Raffle. Was so unpredictable when that MENTAL DISORDER guy done it, that it was really enjoyable. Nonetheless, the highlights of this session was FLAKEY on ice for the wrong number. LOST CAUSE for a similar offense and ZENERGY for being VV‘s brother.
SHEIK MEME takes the circle and pisses everybody off!
The big Ha Raa was FOWL FUCKER coming in to collect his 400 run shirt, what a guy!
And how about this guy, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER with 700 runs! This guy has his own fan club that follow him around! Congratulations Billy!
FINI takes the circle and deals with all the returners where there were so many! Done a great job in unique FINI style icing LONE WOLF because “I can and never get the chance”. TOMMY TWO LIPS was iced because FINI could and CABBAGE PATCH was in the bucket as that was the avenue of least resistance for FINI‘s evil plan of one day being like EMPEROR AIRHEAD in Brussels or Chang Mai. The rest of the returners are listed somewhere, I never read that sht.
VV and ZENERGY are off to the UN, where we have MENTAL DISORDER and DEL BOY taking over the Beer Truck and possibly baguettes until VV‘s return.
PISS POORER takes the circle and punishes CRAPPER, GANGREEN, DEL BOY and BIGGUS DICKUS. The crime entailed some details to do with NO KNICKERS, PISS POORER‘s bride, who incidentally is with child. Now, KARAMBA who has recently had a child that looks nothing like him, passed on a gift of breast milk and coffee with a bag and a hose, or an extractor for something……… anyway, it was to do with breast milk. These horrible Juvenal sinners had filled NO KNICKERS baby bag with empty beer cans to the point that PISS POORER‘s life was made miserable and he understandably wanted revenge.
PISS POORER‘s wonderful story about to first registered Siamese twins, played by LINEAR ACCELERATOR and LONE WOLF that come out of a village north of BKK and ended up in the USA where the were in the circus (side show Joe), however they went on to have 21 children! We established that LINEAR ACCELERATOR was masturbating when he was bouncing (still connected for the Scandi’s) while GI JOE was sexing his American nightmare!…. Google it!
The rest my friends is history.
On-On! Sheik Meme
Next week’s scribe is to be announced.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 69
Hashers Present Last Week – 38
173 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 19 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 37 BIGGUS DICKUS; 188 BILLION SUCKER; 247 CRACK MY COCCYX; 37 CRAPPER; 93 CROCODILE; 24 DEL BOY; 12 FUNNY BUNNY; 555 G.I. JOE; 212 GANGREEN; 703 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 32 HAWKEYE; 182 KILL BENNY; 617 LADY FLIPPER; 261 LIBERACE; 97 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 372 LONE WOLF; 98 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 119 MENTAL DISORDER; 669 MRS. HEAD; 109 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 62 PISS POORER; 89 POCAHONTAS; 107 RUNNING BARE; 24 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 189 SEAL SUCKER; 187 SHEIK MEME; 607 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 637 SIR FREE WILLY; 637 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 805 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 30 SLACK VAGINA; 372 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 340 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 740 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 243 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 17 ZENERGY
Returners – 24
2 Parisa Sondpracha; 282 ARSE-HOLEO; 49 CABBAGE PATCH; 98 DIRT DIGGER; 258 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 383 FINI THE FAGGOT; 62 FLAKEY; 401 FOWL FUCKER; 145 GREYHOUND; 91 HELIX; 38 IM LAO; 17 KATOY MAGNET; 84 LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS; 54 LOST CAUSE; 30 LUMP; 158 MARATHON MAN; 56 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 8 NOK NIGH; 26 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 45 PUGSLY; 87 RABBIT SHOOTER; 34 SUPERVIRGIN; 389 TEENY WEENY; 4 TOMMY’S MARINE
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 6
3 Mark Stoker – Dubai Hash, UAE
19 SUGAR DADDY – Eket Hash, Nigeria
17 SLUG – Gladstone Hash, Australia
5 GORILLA – Pattaya Full Moon H3, Thailand
18 KISS ME DOWN UNDER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
1 MANGO MUNCHER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 2
Anniversaries – 2
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER was presented his 700th Run T-Shirt
FOWL FUCKER was presented his 400th Run T-Shirt
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~