Scribe Report by Bimbo
“Go forth and multiply” was WANK-KING’S WANKER‘s edict…..and most, but not all of the faithful serfs responded as ordered, nearly doubling the previous week’s ‘intimate’ total of 38 hashers.
A notible exception was JELLO-BUTT, who dared not show his face at the PH3 this week, after every person he’d approached about coming to the hash had turned him down. What is it about JELLO-BUTT that makes girls want to say no? Rumor has it that JB is somewhat numericaly challenged, and can barley add and subtract, but not multiply.
BIMBO shwed up at the Buffalo Bar resembling a traveling medicine man with a suitcase full of snake oil. The baht bus journey to the start lacked the excitement of the driver going on strike mid-journey as he had done but a few weeks earlier.
The highlight of the bus ride, and the rest of the day for that matter, was not MENTAL DISORDER, or the bus driver, but some rosy clad lassies from the Pearl of the Orient Seas. With smiles that could a disarm a storm trooper, and personalities to match, we knew right then and there, that whatever would happen that day would turn out just great.
On arriving at the run sight the lead Hare, HONEY BEAR was no where to be found. She must have been putting the Philippine spices on the evening’s feast, so we were all releaved when she finally showed up and blessed us with her magnanimous presence.
The walkers and runners started off at 5:30 sharp, more or less, and wasted no time in losing the trail. Hounds spread out in search of paper, but none was to be found for quite some time; such a clever hare utilizing this tactic to keep the pack together. The clueless hounds walked around aimlessley before some spotted some shready that appeared to be heading home, even though we’d only covered slightly less tha 3 km. When A-site came into view that was enough for 80% of the pack to head for the barn for some cold beer, great food and some butt chilling entertainment, as is the custom with the Pattaya H3.
Several hard-core hashers, including KARAMBA actually carried on until they found paper and clocked some 10.5 km on their official Garmin HHH Trail Tracking devices.
EMPORER AIRHEAD voiced his approval with his sage-like words…”These girls have done a great job tonight”, which brought a proud smile to the beautify bevy of Flipinas.
TEENY WEENY was iced for eating all the pies, and for outweighing all 6 Filippina hares put together. This icon of the Pattaya HHH scene has been around since the stone age, running the PH3 #95 when he was a mere child in diapers. The circle of life continues as TEENY WEENY is about to return to the diaper stage again in his endless ourney to that great HHH Trail in the Sky.
The crafty few who carried on to the Boomerang Guest House, were treated to a Surf & Turf feast of filet mignon and east coast lobster, washed down with seveal bottles of vintage Don Periognon that the host was hiding in his wine cellar for this occasion.
And what would Filipina Night at the hash be without our favorite songbirds, the HONEY BEAR SEXTET singing “Besa Me Mucho” and other classics? That was a tough hard act to follow when LORD NELSON and SUGAR DADDY were called forward to finish the night with the Hash Hymn.
WARNING: Metal detectors will sound an alarm if any PH3 hasher attempts to board the baht bus home with more than one open and one unopened can of orange soda.
The next PH3 Phillipines Independence Day Run will have to reach for the stars to top this one. Rumor has it that Manny Pacquiao may fly in to take on WANK-KING’S WANKER in the circle.
ON-ON ! Bimbo
Next week’s scribe is Slippery Sam.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 73
Hashers Present Last Week – 31
167 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 511 BALL RINGER; 323 BELL END; 61 BEN 10; 241 CRACK MY COCCYX; 1311 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 6 FUNNY BUNNY; 545 G.I. JOE; 693 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 176 KILL BENNY; 607 LADY FLIPPER; 251 LIBERACE; 89 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 365 LONE WOLF; 157 MARATHON MAN; 659 MRS. HEAD; 37 PISSED AS A RAT; 69 PUSSY FUCKER; 6 RED ROCKET; 627 SIR FREE WILLY; 627 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 795 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 21 SLACK VAGINA; 21 SLIPPERY SAM; 362 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 332 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 18 SUGAR DADDY; 452 TADPOLE; 134 TWO TIME; 732 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 233 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 31
2 Jeeraporn Saksatna; 180 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 30 BIMBO; 36 BULLTRACK; 31 BURL IVES; 75 CAMEL HUMPER; 71 DESERT SCORPION; 257 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 210 DOG LICKS ITS DICK; 398 FOWL FUCKER; 202 GANGREEN; 23 GOLDEN RIVET; 142 GREYHOUND; 141 HONEY BEAR; 95 HULK; 155 JACKAL; 305 KARAMBA; 26 LORD NELSON; 45 LOST CAUSE; 110 MENTAL DISORDER; 30 MISUSE ME; 99 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 287 PELER; 83 POCAHONTAS; 155 RUBBER DICK; 100 RUNNING BARE; 98 SCOOBIE DOO; 570 SIR MC; 56 SUZY WONG; 388 TEENY WEENY; 3 TURKEY NECK
Unknown Unknown – insufficient data (RUMPLED FORESKIN)
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 4
1 GET A ROOM – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
16 DEL BOY – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
18 RED LIPS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
4 LICK MY BALLS – San Diego Hash, USA
Virgins – 6
Leavers – x
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 1
RUNNING BARE was congratulated on completing his 100th Run
Hash Name Events – 1
I LEAN OVER was renamed RED LIPS
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~