Scribe Report by Stool Mover
So the Mismanagement Team has asked me to Scribe for a second time. Obviously I did upset enough people on my first scribe “I think to myself”. But seriously I’m always willing to help out if I can, I think you get back what you put in, and that’s more so with Hashing.
Heard a funny story the other day about JELLO BUTT turns out he had a cockroach up his ass for a couple of hours giving him sexual satisfaction, Only in Pattaya, times must be getting hard now the boys in brown are routinely rounding up and arresting the street meat on Beach Road. Maybe he’ll be renamed INSECT BUTT or maybe not.
So today’s run number 1628 was a special Norwegian Run hared by LIBERACE, ODD JOB, SIR DOG, STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, TIGER BUM and an absent KARAMBA. Now every year the Norwegians always go above and beyond the call of duty and this year was no exception. A free T-shirt on sign up and not forgetting the fantastic free food, smoked salmon, scrambled egg, fried chicken pork.
Today I didn’t take part in the run itself as I was still recovering from a mixture of heat stroke, too much beer and raw chicken the day before, so while wearing my adult nappy and with sick bag to hand I waited for the first runner to get back. In came two short cutting bastards MARATHON MAN and TRY-A-FUCK just before the first runners made it in. Everyone said it was a great run and enjoyed it, with that many Hares its no surprise.
After everyone had stuffed their faces with food WANK-KING’S WANKER starts the circle. First he announces the On On bar is TQ’s which he forgot to take a count on before the run, maybe someone will ice you next week for that, then we hear about the next two runs, firstly the Scotch on the Rocks Run and the week after is the Betty Boop Run (remember to dress up). There’s some guys that wait all year for this run, gives them a chance to wear women’s clothes, let that cross dresser inside you come out. Then the Hares are iced and thanked for all the free stuff.
Next is SIR FREE WILLY with the Raffle and I manage to win a bottle of whiskey EMPEROR AIRHEAD got the slimming tea, ROTATE HER LATER got a bottle of something and there was a thong and fishnet tights, piggy bank with money inside donated by LONE WOLF and a nice pair of headphones.
After the winners down downs EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the Hares, they are commended for being great hashers, good fun and real men. And awarded a AIRHEAD trophy. Next on the ice is WANK-KING’S WANKER and we hear about how his descendants were from Norway and liked to fuck each other and interbred until 1850 they settled in Minnesota and started having sex with Americans.
SHEIK MEME is iced and he too has descendants from Norway. Seriously guys you’ve been hanging around with NO MORE CUM too much, so you going to learn to speak Norwegian now? I did my family tree and turns out one of my ancestors was raped by Attila The Hun so I guess that makes me Mongolian.
Next are two Marine friends are iced, turns out they’ve been grabbing each other’s cocks in TQ’s after a few beers, steers and queers come to mind.
And so to a hash naming, enter to the ice Chris Matthews, leave the ice LICK MY BALLS.
SHEIK MEME takes the circle next and ices his new found Norwegian brothers the Hares and begins to tell us the long story of the first of his ancestors who came to Australia in 1832.i fell asleep at this point until a beetle the size of my fist flew into my face and woke me up.
After what seemed a lifetime WANK-KING’S WANKER takes the circle and gives out some awards, SIR DOG was congratulated on completing his 50th Hared Run. LIBERACE was congratulated on completing his 10th Hared Run. SIR ARSE HOPPER was congratulated on completing his 650th Run.
SHEIK MEME takes the circle again and ices are visitor CLASSIC from the Kakadoo Hash, Darwin, Australia for drinking beer before the first runner came in, naughty naughty. After that MEME goes on an ice frenzy, icing half the circle with SIR FREE WILLY in the bucket. I do remember him telling us the advise he gave he’s recently divorced son, “Wank wank wank, money in the bank!’. Brilliant, love those father son moments.
And so that only leaves the Hares Song to finish the circle with a chorus that went drinking, drinking, drinking. Very fitting, as that’s what’s most of us have been doing all night.
Returners take us into the Hymn and then its back to the on on bar TQ’s for some cheap beer, free hotdogs and even hotter girls. Another great hash…
ON-ON ! Stool Mover
Next week’s scribe is Golden Rivet.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 59
Hashers Present Last Week – 36
2 Jameson Kaye; 5 Karina Vahitova; 163 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 9 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 1307 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 541 G.I. JOE; 689 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 20 GOLDEN RIVET; 154 JACKAL; 172 KILL BENNY; 603 LADY FLIPPER; 77 LADY GAGA; 247 LIBERACE; 86 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 362 LONE WOLF; 42 LOST CAUSE; 153 MARATHON MAN; 655 MRS. HEAD; 98 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 361 ODD-JOB; 285 PELER; 33 PISSED AS A RAT; 65 PUSSY FUCKER; 18 ROTATE HER LATER; 98 RUNNING BARE; 180 SHEIK MEME; 623 SIR FREE WILLY; 623 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 791 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 17 SLIPPERY SAM; 358 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 328 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 15 STOOL MOVER; 3 THE OTHER JODY; 728 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 229 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 15
98 B. B.; 507 BALL RINGER; 320 BELL END; 58 BEN 10; 133 BENGT POTATO; 178 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 11 BOY NAMED SUE; 5 FRODO; 199 GANGREEN; 85 RABBIT SHOOTER; 10 SHIH TZU; 650 SIR ARSE HOPPER; 679 SIR DOG; 90 TIGER BUM; 188 TRY-A-FUCK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 6
2 BUSH DIVER – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
2 HAND BRAKE – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
19 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE – Brunei Hash
16 SUGAR DADDY – Eket Hash, Nigeria
7 CLASSIC – Kakadoo Hash, Darwin, Australia
3 LICK MY BALLS – San Diego Hash, USA
Virgins – 2
Leavers – 1
Anniversaries – 3
SIR DOG was congratulated on completing his 50th Hared Run.
LIBERACE was congratulated on completing his 10th Hared Run.
SIR ARSE HOPPER was congratulated on completing his 650th Run.
Hash Name Events – 1
Chris Matthews was given the New Hash Name LICK MY BALLS
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~