Scribe Report by Honey Bear and Catherine Quirke
Circle made and Raffle takes place after Hare KEE MAH was iced. Super prizes to be won, including SIR FREE WILLY‘s dildo and a cockroach.
After the Raffle a Virgin from Finland had to take a seat because he hadn’t bought a T-Shirt. He said, “The shirts look like shit and don’t fit me”.
After the run EMPEROR AIRHEAD got KEE MAH back on the ice, the Hare with no friends. KARAMBA, the Scottish Norwegian Viking Vegetarian joins him – a new friend from the bottom of the barrel – named the ‘Hero of the Hash’ because he made friends with KEE MAH who hasn’t got any, but then ran away and left KEE MAH to do all the work anyway – first time co-hares have parted in 31 years!
LITTLE TOMMY 2 LIPS from Accrington Stanley Exactly takes a seat with his flat cap on. EMPEROR AIRHEAD reads out the bill his best friend gave him after he spent the night at his house – included all the ingredients for the food he had cooked for him, including tin foil. Another Hasher with no friends!
Virgin Nicole and her sponsor, SUZY WONG take a seat along with virgins Connor Hewitt, 2 other blokes and 2 Thai ladies to be welcomed to the Hash.
The missing virgins from Finland (Anti Christ and his mate) are sought out and sit on the ice to be welcomed too.
KARAMBA has to take a seat again and he is asked about the ugly lady boy he had been found in bed with. He will be doing Morris dancing with posh London next!
GM hands over to WANK-KING’S WANKER who asks HORSE and SUZY WONG to take a seat to celebrate anniversary – 150 Runs and 50 Runs.
SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD takes a seat – SHEIK MEME had cheated and went back to the beer truck early so SPAG had punched him. He is told to get in the bucket but then it was decided that KARAMBA should take the blame instead.
The Beer Police, Geoff Hewitt and POT MY BROWN PIPE take a seat. Someone said ‘What’s a Dingle doing here?’
NO MORE COME from Morecambe, SUZY WONG and Nicole take a seat. Nicole had motivated the Germans to win something in 2014. ARSE-HOLEO, SCARLET, LONE WOLF, and an Ozzy take a seat and Connor gets in the bucket and we are reminded of a news article from 1957 when England detonated some bombs found in Oz that the Germans had left there. Now it’s a naturist resort full of naked Germans.
STEPTOE takes over, but everyone talked over him until the boring bastard shut up.
A load more pricks sit on the ice. Then everyone sings the the All Blacks song even though no one is Kiwi and probably haven’t even watched a game of Rugby.
Then tuk tuks are ready to go – there is no beer left in the truck. The Beer Police had drunk it all.
ON-ON ! Honey Bear and Catherine Quirke
Next week’s scribe is Arse-Holeo
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 96
Hashers Present Last Week – 68
4 Paal Espen Antonsen; 9 Harald Malthe; 9 Samniang Rattanamool; 5 Per Sandoe; 4 Laddawan Sappaso; 24 Nisarat Tripp; 5 Jan Wallace; 194 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 493 BALL RINGER; 23 BEETROOT HEAD; 313 BELL END; 51 BEN 10; 7 BLUE SKY; 198 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 239 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1289 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 124 FLYING FINN; 49 FREQUENT STREAKER; 525 G.I. JOE; 15 GAS MAN; 670 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 12 GOLDEN RIVET; 129 HONEY BEAR; 88 HULK 32 JINGLE BALLS; 298 KARAMBA; 199 KEE MAH; 114 KNOB MARLEY; 584 LADY FLIPPER; 228 LIBERACE; 83 LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS; 26 LOST CAUSE; 14 LOVE BOAT; 143 MARATHON MAN; 18 MASTER CHEF; 637 MRS. HEAD; 83 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 152 NO MORE CUM; 52 ONE MORE TIME; 74 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 268 PELER; 48 PHONEY CUNT; 283 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 17 POL DANCER; 173 ROBBING BASTARD; 195 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 85 SCARLET; 18 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 595 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 589 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 604 SIR FREE WILLY; 613 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 774 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 208 SKIING FINN; 345 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 149 STEPTOE; 12 STICKY KNICKERS; 310 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 11 STOOL MOVER; 50 SUZY WONG; 315 SWEETIE; 112 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 195 TOM BOY; 164 UP THE BUTT; 319 VELCRO DICK; 709 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 211 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 97 WEE MOANING WEASEL
Returners – 18
10 Hans Boye; 2 Thor Halland; 3 Geoff Hewitt; 4 Catherine Quirke; 3 Sara Sray; 275 ARSE-HOLEO; 7 BIG LUNGS; 117 CRAZY PUSSY; 318 FUCK THE TRUTH; 150 HORSE; 67 LADY GAGA; 349 LONE WOLF; 9 POT MY BROWN PIPE; 129 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 167 SHEIK MEME; 43 SPANKINSTEIN; 383 TAMPAX; 179 TRY-A-FUCK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3
15 POLE FUCKER – Harare, Zimbabwe
13 KISS ME DOWN UNDER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
16 PHANTOM – Vung Tau Hash, Vietnam
Virgins – 7
Leavers – 2
WEE MOANING WEASEL
Anniversaries – x
SUZY WONG was congratulated for completing her 50th Run
HORSE was congratulated for completing his 150th Run
Hash Name Events – 0
~ none this week ~
Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~