Scribe Report by Stool Mover
Last week I hared my first run with TRY-A-FUCK and now I find myself reporting my first scribe.
Now I’m no Shakespeare, spent most of my English lessons outside in the corridor for being a disruptive pupil, but God loves a trier so I’m going to put my faith into the hands of my computers spell check and crack on. I apologize if I lower the tone this week but I guess you can take the boy out of London, but you cant take the London out of the boy.
This week’s run we were missing one of our front-runners DEL BOY, now we have all heard about his Golden Shower experiences, but it turns out it was more serious than we thought. You could say it has become an addiction not to mention messy as well. So DEL BOY has decided to get help in the form of a rehabilitation clinic in the Philippines. Apparently they have a program were they use cows piss as a substitute to wean you off. We hope he makes a speedy recovery and comes back soon and remember DEL BOY, one day at a time..
So today was a special Belgian Run hared by VV , MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY and IM LAO. Now I can’t say I’ve ever stayed in Belgium but I have driven through it a couple of times, which takes all of about twenty minutes. One time whilst ridding in a four-car convoy of football hooligans back from the World Cup in Germany we stopped at various petrol stations in Belgium. Being English I was surprised to see in a large basket next to the cashier a huge collection of porn DVDs. In England we have to purchase such films in a specialist shop usually while wearing a long raincoat. But in Belgium it seems theirs no shortage of wanking material and is available everywhere.
Belgium also has been producing my two favorite beers, Stella Artois and Leffe for the last 800 years and has been responsible for hundreds off drunken nights out and a few fights too, with my boys back home in the UK and for that I thank you Belgium.
So we arrive at the A-Site on this perfect day for running and soon the first circle is called by our GM SCAR W/2T’S who waste no time by dealing with the new shoes Chang beer style, followed by are three virgins, one of which is a famous musician from Norway.
The run itself was great, lots of checks to slow up the front-runners; one in particular by a charcoal pit was tough, some water, dogs, jungle etc., ticked all the right boxes. I always enjoy VV’s runs and this one was no exception. I clocked just over 6 km on my phone app but not being a front runner myself didn’t do most of the checks so was more like 7 km for the front runners. Everyone agreed it was a good run. Back at the A-Site we were treated by the hares to some amazing Belgium Hoegaarden beer and VV’s BBQ sausages.
After the the 2nd Circle is called, our GM SCAR W/2T’S calls the Hares to the ice and thanks them. SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT manages the Raffle with donations from FLYING FINN, REAR GUNNER and SIR FREE WILLY. The most memorable being a wall clock that was allegedly Swiss made.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and iced the Hares. VV was complemented on his BBQ sausages, which were excellent. Next was our 3 young virgins and we find out one is a 3 Grammy Awards musician from Norway, we also found out he’s been playing with his mates father, but this didn’t put the girls off in the circle who all agreed the pair were sexy. The third virgin then proclaims to be a Major in the army sort of. KARAMBA and NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER are iced next hoping NIGHT RIDER will change his playboy ways by following KARAMBA‘s example of changing his ways and settling down and starting a family and making loads of money.
This was followed by a quick naming ceremony, enter Pin, and exit BLUE SKY.
LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS and Errol were next to be iced. We find out Errol likes pulling 71-year old women from Patpong and also did a run 3 weeks after he couldn’t walk, all be it still took him 7 hours to complete, way to go Errol. Then it’s his turn to be named. After a lot of suggestions from the circle most referring to grannies we finally pick the name FENIAN BASTARD.
WANG-KING’S WANKER takes the circle and starts by announcing the Xmas run next week will include a visit from Santa and two hot elf’s, lets hope Santa’s sack is full. NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, REAR GUNNER and TRY-A-FUCK are honored and awarded their 5 hares caps, Congratulations!
SHEIK MEME took the circle and wastes no time in putting the virgins on the ice. LIBERACE had requested not to bucket the virgins as they were riding in his car home, so of course SHEIK MEME ignores that and in they went. Their first taste of the ice bucket. KNOB MARLEY, MISERABLE CUNT and NO MORE CUM are iced. We hear about how NO MORE CUM has been English all his life but as soon as he retired he says he’s German. People were shot for this crime in WW2, I think the least SHEIK MEME should have put him in the bucket but instead SIR FREE WILLY ends up in there for reasons I don’t know as the beer was kicking in at this point of the night.
Next iced are the Hares again and REAR GUNNER, looking at MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS IM GAY on the ice I think he’s been drinking more of the down-downs than he’s been handing out tonight as he struggles to stay on the ice. NO MORE CUM takes the circle and tries to recreate the Xmas day truce in WW1 1914 when both sides stopped fighting and played football, by icing HULK, PAPRIKA SMILEY,TRY-A-FUCK, FENIAN BASTARD and SIR FREE WILLY and MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY in the bucket.
LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS is iced again because well it’s funny watching him slide off every time he sits down along with our GM SCAR and SIR MC.
The Hare’s Song again this week is from the Hash Band “The Bunglers”. And the song is called “Belgium Hares” the returners then lead us into the Hash Hymn.
I’ve just enough time to enjoy some Glenfiddich Scotch Whiskey from the newly named FENIAN BASTARD on the bus to the on-on bar M Club where I enjoy some great food and top up my buzz with cheap draft Chang. And this week I didn’t get covered in mud so a great Monday Hash. It’s a hard life this hashing!!!!
ON-ON ! Stool Mover
Next week’s scribe is General Kidney Wiper
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 79
Hashers Present Last Week – 50
151 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 490 BALL RINGER; 310 BELL END; 48 BEN 10; 4 BLUE SKY; 12 BURL IVES 195 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 1286 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 121 FLYING FINN; 522 G.I. JOE; 183 GANGREEN; 667 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 126 HONEY BEAR; 31 IM LAO; 29 JINGLE BALLS; 581 LADY FLIPPER; 65 LADY GAGA; 225 LIBERACE; 347 LONE WOLF; 23 LOST CAUSE; 140 MARATHON MAN; 15 MASTER CHEF; 11 MISUSE ME; 634 MRS. HEAD; 50 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 80 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 149 NO MORE CUM; 352 ODD-JOB; 71 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 265 PELER; 58 RASPUTIN; 170 ROBBING BASTARD; 83 RUNNING BARE; 192 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 15 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 592 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 586 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 601 FREE WILLY; 610 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 771 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 342 SQUEEZE MY TUBE[ 146 STEPTOE[ 8 STOOL MOVER[ 312 SWEETIE; 381 TAMPAX; 193 TOM BOY; 177 TRY-A-FUCK; 316 VELCRO DICK; 706 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 208 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 22
6 Harald Malthe; 4 Sudaphan Nonsang; 5 Alain Poirier; 3 Per Sandoe; 180 BILLION SUCKER; 32 BULLTRACK; 236 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 3 FENIAN BASTARD; 85 HULK; 295 KARAMBA; 111 KNOB MARLEY; 80 LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS; 64 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 11 LOVE BOAT; 281 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 136 PINKABOO; 69 POCAHONTAS; 218 REAR GUNNER; 165 SHEIK MEME; 567 SIR MC; 205 SKIING FINN; 307 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 4
1 Atitaya Sricha – Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
1 Lallo Didier – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
5 SUBNORMAL – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
14 PAROU PAROU – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 3
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – 5
NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER was awarded his 5 Hared Hat
REAR GUNNER was awarded his 5 Hared Hat
SQUEEZE MY TUBE was awarded her 5 Hared Hat
TRY-A-FUCK was awarded his 5 Hared Hat
MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY was congratulated for his 50th Run
Hash Name Events – 2
Pin Wildman was given the hash name BLUE SKY
Errol Hyslop was given the hash name FENIAN BASTARD
Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
MRS. HEAD – 18th Dec