Scribe Report by Wanking
Started out as an ominous day with dark clouds and rain on this Halloween Run, what will SIR FREE WILLY & LADY FLIPPER have in store for us. At the A-Site, the rain stopped. SIR FREE WILLY handed out a brief History of Halloween to “English” speaking sign-ups. We were also greeted with the sight of a table laden with spirits of the alcoholic variety, whiskey, vodka & gin, plus Red Bull mixers. To become a truly spiritual run, the run being a disaster, as paper ended in less than 1Km, the locals having probably picked up the fluorescent pink paper, causing the pack to return early. STEPTOE re-laid a trail but could not pick up the actual trail even with instructions from hares, as such no one followed that one either. Only the returning GM SCAR WITH 2 Ts & MARATHON MAN found & completed the trail.
GM SCAR WITH 2 Ts called the circle at 6:37pm, but was ignored. Perhaps they did not recognise him having been away for him for so long. Again circle was called & formed.
After the GM iced the Hares, STUPID KRAUT KUNT iced for lost property offence from previous run. The Brewmaster SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT then began the raffle, won by FUZZY LURE, WANKING (redraw), FLYING FINN, STUPID KRAUT KUNT (2 prizes), DEL BOY (3 prizes), GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, GANGREEN (spaced out, takes WANKING’s beer as a prize, then the hash camera), STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, ¼ POUNDER WITH CHEESE.
STUPID KRAUT KUNT given circle & donated his prizes. BELLE received a “Magic” Mirror. LOLIPOP’s younger daughter received a Skull that she wanted her dad to buy. STUPID KRAUT KUNT would make a great dad!
EMPEROR AIRHEAD ices the Hares, retelling stories of their previous runs, losing kids on one, then kids & their parents on the next, but everyone got back safely today.
The LOLIPOP BOY family are iced, some kind of payback, as LOLIPOP’s youngest daughter wanted daddy to be iced & older daughter to put dad in The Bucket. Such are the thoughts of young innocent minds.
After, assistance from LOLIPOP BOY’s daughters, the circle unanimously voted VIETNAMESE VIOLATER dressed as The Joker as best Halloween costume, winning 6 shots of B52s at TQs, donated by EMPEROR AIRHEAD. GANGREEN who came a close second dressed as a Rape Victim, tried showing a leg to beat VV to 1st prize, but EMPEROR AIRHEAD retorted “There are kids present”. Other participants, EMPEROR AIRHEAD as his younger one-eyed smarter self, not wiser but dress. G.I. JOE as Groucho Marx. SCAR WITH 2Ts as a Zombie Bride.
LIBERACE iced & awarded Benefactor Trophy for loyal service to PH3. Here’s to another 20 years.
Our illustrious GM then iced the baldies, ¼ POUNDER WITH CHEESE & SHIEK MEME, & proceeded to wax their scalps with a fluorescent pink hair treatment. I suppose if it works for the GM? Norwegians were iced next as no Swedes, BILLION SUCKER & FLYING FINN for U-Boat sighting in their waters. Should have iced the Germans instead, who won the war anyway?
BANANA BENDER then iced Sex Tourists DEL BOY, TURD BURGLAR & BOB SNOT HERE. Retelling in TURD BURGLAR’s own words about The Castle, a fetish club, “never been in the last room, hurts too much. Been in all the other rooms”. SIR FREE WILLY joins them knowing a beer cost 250 baht in 1st room. GANGREEN joins them, being reason why TURD BURGLAR scared to go into last room as GANGREEN awaits him there.
DEL BOY iced again for “I woke up 1500 baht the poorer, with a condom hanging out his arse”, “Had it in my mouth & tasted like shit!”.
GM iced WANK-KING’S WANKER for walking into glass door that he’d put a sticker on to prevent such an act.
WANK-KING’S WANKER provides stats report & ices leavers, TURD BURGLAR (to go where no man, woman, kathoey or goat has gone before), MISSING LINK (prepare for marathon) & BANANA BENDER (to lose himself in Asia, perhaps never to return).
GM puts PUGSLEY in The Bucket for incessant talking. Ices SHIEK MEME, thanking him for looking after his house, thoughtfully speeding by & tossing house keys (in a plastic bag) over the fence. SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT did enquire with the GM how the gates were locked from the inside, but no-one in.
SHIEK MEME ices. WANK-KING’s WANKER. To which DEL BOY joins him, for no reason, then put in The Bucket. GM joins them on the ice. WANK-KING’s WANKER thanked for his full on efforts as GM during the Summer & organising the ON-ON Bars.
Hares iced for hashers getting lost trying to get to A-Site & getting back to A-Site. PUGSLEY hits The Bucket again for talking, to which STEPTOE queries, “Who’s going to service his girlfriend?”. DEL BOY caught rubbing his nuts, knowing the feeling PUGSLEY is going through. STUPID KRAUT KUNT shouts “FUCK ME! FUCK ME!” to which GANGREEN still in his dress replies “I was a rape victim!”
GM called for a Hash Name for PUGSLEY’s misses, Dawn Nguyen on her 2nd run, no other hashes. PUGSLEY joins her, but in The Bucket. Then STUPID KRAUT KUNT for talking, put in The Bucket, but sits on PUGSLEY’s shoulders. What a horrible sight. PUGSLEY shouts out “I’M NOT GAY”. Back to naming, options being, Jugs Bunny, Vietnamese Takeaway, Ho-Chi-Sin, Mekong Delta, VV’s Lady. After voting by circle & careful consideration by the GM on the final 2 choices, Dawn was christened MEKONG DELTA.
Hares were called to Sing Us A Song, to which SIR FREE WILLY lied about having composed something but lost it, so it came to STEPTOE to oblige & ices SIR FREE WILLY, TURD BURGLAR, SHIEK MEME, SCAR WITH 2Ts, FLYING FINN, being the “Scariest” bunch. If the Devil should cast his net.
Circle closed at 8:16pm after Last Beers & SWING LOW.
Stori bilong PNG: Disepla Ron em I bugarap tru. Planti manmeri ol lusim pepa long rot. Planti manmeri ol sindaun long bigpela aisblok na insait bigpela plastic bokis pulapim wara na ais. Planti manmeri, planti pipol, emi no holim long ting ting long nem bilong olgeta. Sampela man, AS RASKOL tok save, pilai planti taim meri na noken holim skin, noken go insait rum long bek Castle, tok save planti pen long as na insait onepela man nem SKIN SIK NA GRIN, “Mipela raskol I goapim”
Next week’s scribe is ~ not yet assigned ~
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 59
Hashers Present Last Week – 46
97 B. B.; 483 BALL RINGER; 303 BELL END; 41 BEN 10; 17 BIG DAWG; 177 BILLION SUCKER; 30 BULLTRACK; 5 BURL IVES; 9 DEL BOY; 230 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1279 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 114 FLYING FINN; 106 FUZZY LURE; 516 G.I. JOE; 176 GANGREEN; 660 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 8 GOLDEN RIVET; 574 LADY FLIPPER; 218 LIBERACE; 59 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 17 LOST CAUSE; 133 MARATHON MAN; 2 MEKONG DELTA; 183 MISSING LINK; 628 MRS. HEAD; 16 PISS ON IT; 64 POCAHONTAS; 43 PUGSLY; 76 RUNNING BARE; 161 SHEIK MEME; 589 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 579 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 594 SIR FREE WILLY; 603 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 765 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 336 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 139 STEPTOE; 303 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 193 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 305 SWEETIE; 376 TAMPAX; 105 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 169 TURD BURGLAR; 699 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 34 WANKING; 202 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 8
6 Hans Boye; 190 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 19 BELL STAR; 61 CAMEL HUMPER; 59 DESERT SCORPION; 270 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 48 LOLLIPOP BOY; 185 SCAR WITH TWO T’S
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3
3 CHORIZO – Berlin H3, Germany
3 BOB SNOT HERE – Nhatrain, Vietnam
2 FRICK OFF – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 2
Anna Maria Unflat
Leavers – 2
Anniversaries – 0
~ none this week ~
Hash Names – 1 Event
Dawn Nguyen was given the new Hash Name MEKONG DELTA
Sinners – 0 Event
~ none this week ~
~ none this week ~