Scribe Report by Absolutely No Fucking Idea
Today’s hares are the dangerous brothers duo known as GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SIR REALLY SADISTIC B’STARD on their own personal trail for your “vote don’t know” campaign hoping to become the new statesmen of an independent Scotland and depart from noble England.
1st circle called, new shoes dealt with, a bit of advice from the hares and off we ran down a pleasant trail with views out of some sort of comic strip presents with 5 checks to return us to the A site.
After a few cold beers our GM WANK-KING’S WANKER takes the 2nd circle and starts off with a bit of discipline by putting the first bottom on ice of FOWL FUCKER and UP THE BUTT for taking an early beer from the truck, these two claimed to be the first runners back but as it turns out they short cut the walkers trail to get back double quick, well they got their extra beer and a cold bottom for it.
MENSTRUAL DISORDER, HONEY BEAR, PREYING MANTIS are ice to announce next week’s Philippines Independence Day Run with a promise of food and fun.
Next today’s hares GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SIR REALLY SADISTIC B’STARD are iced by the GM WANK-KING’S WANKER, well these two veterans are not the young ones they once were with over 1200 runs between.
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT takes the circle for raffle time with the winners including ONE MORE TIME, ANFI, BB, MENSTRUAL DISORDER & GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER.
It’s at this point that our GM WANK-KING’S WANKER has a rush of blood to the head and announces that he will buy the first round at the On On Bar tonight, a statement the he was probably regretting for the rest of the circle and bus ride back to town.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes to the circle to ice the hares and get to the bottom of the opinion of today’s run with an A mark for the A+ site and A- for the run as a few runners lost paper on trial, well that was a kick up the eighties for the hares hoping for 100% pass mark.
Next it was the returners, well Bjorn who already has 10 runs with the PH3 but not ran for 20 years returns, so it was decided that it was time to name him today before he disappears for another 20 years, with tales of him working his way up the mariners scale from cabin boy to 1st mate until whilst sailing off the coast of Africa he fell over board (or was thrown over) into crocodile infested water, well he managed to evade the croc and swim ashore only for the local cannibal tribe to throw him back to the crocs, well after a variety of croc based names were offered up when SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD never one not to say it as he sees it shouts it’s because he must tastes like shit, so TASTES LIKE SHIT is the name you get if neither crocodile nor cannibal will have you for dinner.
NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER is iced for his tireless filthy rich & catflap party animal antics like Lord Flashheart and more bad news of his girlfriend’s car crashes.
TASTES LIKE SHIT is back on ice as both he and his girlfriend are caught sitting down in the circle like they’re at some sort of guest house Paradiso, only about 490 runs early on this hash TASTES LIKE SHIT, he will probably qualify by being 70 years old before he gets to his 20th run the way he is going.
Next GI JOE takes the circle too ice ARSE-A-HOLIC & STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS for how to be a little sod, and SHIT MY PANTS for being a general safety hazard.
BB’s circle and I don’t just mean that he is round but went to town icing SHIT MY PANTS, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, TASTES LIKE SHIT, GI JOE, SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD with grim tales of Papua New Guinea, like bad news on tour and scary Rik Shaw taxi rides.
GM calls for the hash hymn and on back to town where the GM did get the first round in.
Mayall have a good time and see you next week~~
On-On! Absolutely No Fucking Idea
Next week’s scribe is Rear Gunner
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week – 46
Hashers Present Last Week – 29
138 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 465 BALL RINGER; 292 CABBAGE QUEEN; 220 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1267 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 499 G.I. JOE; 649 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 110 HONEY BEAR; 515 LADY BOW WOW; 556 LADY FLIPPER; 199 LIBERACE; 5 MANGINA; 74 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 88 MENTAL DISORDER; 609 MRS. HEAD; 58 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 254 PELER; 574 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 563 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 668 SIR DOG; 576 SIR FREE WILLY; 584 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 747 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 424 SNOOPY; 319 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 284 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 286 SWEETIE; 683 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 183 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 14
4 Tak Namuenwai; 82 B. B.; 151 BARNACLE BOLLOX; 288 BELL END; 26 BEN 10; 27 BIMBO; 386 FOWL FUCKER; 157 GANGREEN; 49 ONE MORE TIME; 128 PINKABOO; 174 PUPPY; 208 REAR GUNNER; 11 TASTES LIKE SHIT; 159 UP THE BUTT
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 2
18 SHIT MY PANTS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
5 PRAYING MANTIS – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 0
~ but maybe some liars ~
Anniversaries – 0
~ none this week ~
Hash Names – 1 Event
Bjorn Engebretsen was given the Hash Name TASTES LIKE SHIT
Sinners – 0 Events
~~ but just a matter of time ~~.
Birthdays – 0
~~ none this week ~~