Scribe Report by Sheik Meme
Norwegian Run! Wow, what a day!
The anticipation at sign up was just too much! Given a shirt that read like the who’s who of Oslo Customs watch list! SIR DOG, ODD-JOB, KARAMBA, LIBERACE, RASPUTIN, MUD CRACKER, EMPTY SPERMBANK, FROG LICKS ITS DICK, PISSED POLE DANCER, STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS and DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES.
Looking about the Viking Hares, the sudden realization that the price of smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and t-shirts are so great these days that KARAMBA, RASPUTIN and MUD CRACKER needed to return to work to stave off personal insolvency. ODD-JOB was conspicuous by his absence as a senior Viking and was responsible with LIBERACE in designing the 2014 Norwegian Run shirt. This said shirt sported a restless pig in celebration of “200 Years of Independence”. The cost of that independence means that every lucky working Norwegian works nine (9) months of the year just to pay the tax!
The run itself was an exercise in punishment! Your scribe for today, SHEIK MEME, found himself at both the front of the pack and at the very back of the pack…..almost a dozen times! Working one’s self into a regular trot having gone through deep water and following true trail for some kilometres and discovering an FT that would take me the time to drink two beers to get back to the check! Then, another trot established having rounded up the pack, miles from anywhere and another fkn check back (two sticks that are blue and go back and find trail either side) that was miles back! I reckon that the entire pack must have been back within five minutes! Very clever Hare that EMPTY SPERMBANK!
Ten years ago today was the very first Norwegian Run! FROG was the leader of the (Belgium) pack, and he had formed the Belgium Run prior. That didn’t last due to internal bickering over five or ten baht (but we suspect it was control of higher stakes than that), none the less, it was FKNG DOG that stood up and rounded up the Vikings for the inaugural Norwegian Run! The Belgium’s have not held an event since and my calendar is already marked for Norwegian Run 2015 and 16!
The fish and scrambled egg was sensational and there was so much due to the absence of many many Norwegians having to slave to pay their tax bill, so that FKING DOG and STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS can be adequately supported in the tropics!
The GM calls the circle with a one minute warning! Outrageous with chairs to be removed, spliffs ready for ignition and general attire to be straightened! Maybe go back to the “circle in ten minutes” style? Then the GM had the hide to ice the last four people to the circle. One of those was BALL RINGER that was busy feeding his baby!
That ice that the Norgys bring to the party was like glacial ice that had not seen sunlight in ten thousand years! Glorious! EMPEROR AIRHEAD spotted one of the Norwegian woman polishing the ice before the circle! These guys, unlike the Chinese do it right!
The hares were humble in their execution of the best national run since the last Aussie Run. It was determined that PISSED POLE DANCER is not only perpetually on heat when the young military are about, she is the alpha bitch that runs those hares like clockwork!
The Norwegian Run is always a feature of the PH3 calendar.
The raffle is always a feature of the Monday Hash, and goes so long, that with two prize’s to go, I was ready for the Hash Hymn!
On my way to the run, I noticed a block of land on the side of the road less than a rai. An empty small block of land with a sign reading “For Rent” WTF?
EMPEROR AIRHEAD’s circle always a hit and arguably the most consistent RA on the planet. Suggested with young guys in town, is such a feature that our girls and the TQ girls have only seen photo’s of young men in magazines!
We discovered that NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, who was once the most eligible bachelor in town, now has a girlfriend living in the house. “Look at his face now”.
LADY GAGA picks up 50 runs!
UP THE BUTT was allowed out to join the PH3, and his boy HOPALONG turned up after 8 years! This kid is an accident looking for a place to happen, and his latest escape was coming off his trail bike in SPAGHETTI HEAD‘s back yard, as these dudes are neighbours. Imagine living next door to SPAGHETTI HEAD…..TORTURE! The reason the Boy hasn’t been to the hash in eight years is obviously, because SPAG is there!
To my great surprise I discover that our very own GANGREEN is the latest Grand Master of a Hash in Pattaya in the Pattaya Jungle Hash. This PJH3 begun out of spite and non compliance in a small town and was motivated by chairs and other weird personalities on both sides and the PH3 and PJH3 never really……………Anyway, I would like to congratulate our winter GM in SCAR WITH 2 T’S, who was determined to bring the families together, and GANGREEN for his new appointment as Grand Master of PJH3.
MENTAL DISORDER was barking orders to both the wary and unwary! I overheard MENTAL DISORDER instructing the BREW MASTER the way he would do something while congratulating on his consistency over past weeks. Tom was also congratulated for his improvement at being an RA this week!
GRAND MASTER was observed chastising the LONE WOLF for being like a LONE WOLF and I suspect LW will comply with the GM’s instructions, even though LW is rebellious by nature. What a great Club we have!
I had forgotten to appoint a scribe for next week and am sure to undergo the wrath of MENTAL DISORDER for this unfortunate oversight. Therefore, the scribe for next week is SHEIK MEME!
The Hare’s Song was a drinking song that was a complete failure in its execution, however sung with passion and oodles of baritone with a sprinkling of enthusiasm. It got me drinking more!
Time for the Hash Hymn and our outrageously enthusiastic and ever so skinny summer Grand Master in WANK-KING’S WANKING pulls in those to lead us, and I was bewildered to see he choose a Virgin who had absolutely zero idea of why he was even there, let alone leading the Hash Hymn, which he had never heard before!
On-on ’til next week!
On-On! Sheik Meme
Next week’s scribe is Sheik Meme
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week – 72
Hashers Present Last Week – 40
5 Annie Nangtharach; 184 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 135 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 461 BALL RINGER; 285 BELL END; 23 BEN 10; 27 BULLTRACK; 216 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1264 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 257 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 496 G.I. JOE; 156 GANGREEN; 645 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 40 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 106 HONEY BEAR; 28 IM LAO; 552 LADY FLIPPER; 51 LADY GAGA; 195 LIBERACE; 323 LONE WOLF; 72 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 84 MENTAL DISORDER; 605 MRS. HEAD; 47 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 54 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 13 PISS ON IT; 145 SHEIK MEME; 570 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 560 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 572 SIR FREE WILLY; 580 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 744 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 30 SPERM POLLUTER; 316 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 281 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 282 SWEETIE; 166 TRY-A-FUCK; 43 VASELINE THIGHS; 679 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 179 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 22
2 Bob Dethridge; 2 Tak Namuenwai; 288 CABBAGE QUEEN; 137 FROG LICKS ITS DICK; 60 HOPALONG; 69 INVISIBLE MAN; 138 JACKAL; 511 LADY BOW WOW; 51 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 47 ONE MORE TIME; 3 P.R.O.; 157 PISSED POLE DANCER; 31 PUSSY WHIPPED; 77 RABBIT SHOOTER; 128 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 163 SEAL SUCKER; 40 SEXY BUM; 664 SIR DOG; 318 SMILING BROWN SPIDER; 420 SNOOPY; 359 TAMPAX; 157 UP THE BUTT
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 7
11 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE Brunei Hash
8 SLAP – Okinawa Hash, Japan
1 THE OTHER JODY – Okinawa Hash, Japan
11 ATOMIC MUFF DIVER – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 BLACK MAGIC – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
12 HAWKEYE – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
17 BIGGUS DICKUS – Songkhla Hash, Thailand
Virgins – 3
Leavers – 1
Anniversaries – 2
PISSED POLE DANCER was congratulated for her 10th Hared Run
LADY GAGA was congratulated upon completing her 50th Run
Hash Names – 2 Events
Arlene Foulstone was given the Hash Name BLACK MAGIC
Hash Name updated to SLAP for Mark Reynolds, of Okinawa Hash
Sinners – 0 Events
Birthdays – 0
none this week