Scribe Report by Sir Spaghetti Head
The scribe report for today will primarily consist of events which have happened exclusively on today’s Pattaya Monday H3 run! I would be remiss if I did not take a small amount of time to mention this weekend’s outstanding hashing event – “THAI NASH HASH 2014”. This event was attended by over “185 worldwide traveling hashers” – who came from “near and far” to support Hashing and the hashers who “organize, plan, and put on these event’s”! A great weekend was had by all!
The organizing /Mismanagement committee included: Bam Bam, Absolutely F’n Clueless, Pussy Snatcher, Bangka Blower, Mrs. Head, Mental Disorder, and Horse. I would like to personally “thank everyone” who attended and supported this “Outstanding” event! The only “hiccup” if you want to call it one – was that 13 kegs of beer were returned to the distributor unopened! An “Outstanding” job! Thanks for your hard work and meticulous planning! ON-ON!
Mrs. H and I arrived early at the “familiar and well used” Monday A-site, only to find it occupied by campers! A closer look reveled that it was not campers who had taken over the area, but today’s hares: V.V. and FINGERLESS accompanied by our “always reliable” beer master’s – SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and SWEETIE! V.V’s personal chauffeur TAMPAX was also parked up onsite. Additional, “emergency” racks of beer were stowed“ in the shade” under the beer truck due to the anticipated onslaught of those “bastards” from Australia!
BALL RINGER and LIBERACE were at their normal signup and “money collection stations” earlier than I’ve ever seen them before on a Monday night! The “cattle cars” from Pattaya began to arrive at the site at 15:55 – which was absolutely F’n amazing to say the least! I just bet those “Aussie Bastards” hijacked the busses and were holding the drivers for ransom! Rumor is that GAS MAN organized and planned everything!
While waiting for the transports to arrive SIR FREE WILLY was wandering around the circle looking for someone to talk to. Finding only PELER and JACKAL alone and standing close to the water’s edge SFW joined them. Of course, PELER had nothing to say and just stared at the sand and JACKAL was engrossed in a “heated conversation” amongst his friends SFW raced to his best buddy – SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD to talk about the latest news in Jolly Ole England!
The first circle was called to order by WANK-KING’S WANKER who promptly got every ones attention by putting CABBAGE HEAD, PUSSY SNATCHER, and BARNACLE BOLLOX in the bucket. Once order was restored the Virgin was introduced and welcomed to the hash. The hares explained the run markings and sent the runners out over the small rise/hill which was used to enter the A-site. A sharp left hand turn on the dirt road put them onto today’s run start. The run went thru a variety of Thai farmland, trees, dirt trails, and mountain views. The scenic, one hour, run finished with a refreshing run/walk thru the water area return to the A-site. The overall opinion of the run was OUTSTANDING! But, we would not expect anything but and outstanding run from V.V. and FINGERLESS! Great job guys!
After some food, a cool down period, and a few drinks the 2nd circle was called to order by the GM. The raffle was then held with numerous different winners (too many to individually list). We would like to thank all those individuals who purchased tickets for the raffle!
EMPEROR AIRHEAD entered the circle and thanked the hares for a job “well done”! He, then proceeded to fill the ice with NIGHT RIDER today’s Hash Crash, KARAMBA – the expectant dad, B.B. and NORIEGA – for putting tender young females on the ice many years ago, and once again NIGHT RIDER – the EMPEROR must have scared “the hell” out of him – because he promptly left the circle after being released from the ice! No doubt this will be revisited more next week!
Awards were presented to PELER – who was still engrossed in the view from the water’s edge; LADY FLIPPER – 550 RUNS; HONEY BEAR – 100 RUN – SHIRT; BARNACLE BOLLOX – 150 RUNS; MENTAL DISORDER – 2O HARES; NIGHT RIDER – was to receive his 100 RUN MUG – but, he F’d off early!
At this point and time in tonight’s program the scribe, SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, experienced a “senior moment”! No, he didn’t mess his pants (front or back) he only forgot he was tonight’s scribe and F’d off mentally (which is not hard to do at his age of 70 years and 200 days). Because of this, he is not completely responsible for the remaining contents of this scribe!
NORIEGA – commandeered the circle and proceeded to fill the ice and bucket with drunken Aussie’s. He then proceeded to attempt to correct a somewhat fictitious swimming pool adventure which was witnessed by many! He said it happened this past Saturday night! Frank, 3 o’clock in the AM makes it Sunday Morning! Your case is deigned as it seems you lied! Wrong day! The Aussies win!
WANDERING ROVER of Lagos Hash, I believe, was running around the circle attempting to entertain us with a song. Then GAS MAN and the Aussie’s had a petition to “hang ARSE-HOLEO” but, it failed! I do slightly remember the Hash Hymn being “butchered” and GAS MAN leading the Aussie singers in the final song of the evening!
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT – It’s time to wake up and go home!
Another great hash run is now history! We hope that you enjoyed it! Thanks to all visitors for attending! Until next time be safe!
ON-ON ! Sir Spaghetti Head
Next week’s scribe is General Kidney Wiper
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week – 112
Hashers Present Last Week – 51
133 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 10 ATOMIC MUFF DIVER; 459 BALL RINGER; 2 BARBED WIRE; 150 BARNACLE BOLLOX; 130 BENGT POTATO; 127 BLACK HOLE; 5 BLEACHY; 185 CABBAGE HEAD; 287 CABBAGE QUEEN; 18 CRYSTAL; 214 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1262 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 255 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 42 FINGERLESS; 2 FROZEN FUCKER; 154 GANGREEN; 12 GAS MAN; 643 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 3 HALF WAY; 3 HIV NEGATIVE; 104 HONEY BEAR; 24 HUMUNGOUSLY INFECTED VAGINA; 9 I’M A FUCKING CUPCAKE; 137 JACKAL; 143 JELLO BUTT; 290 KARAMBA; 510 LADY BOW WOW; 550 LADY FLIPPER; 49 LADY GAGA; 193 LIBERACE; 50 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 70 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 82 MENTAL DISORDER; 603 MRS. HEAD; 250 PELER; 15 POL DANCER; 2 SHIT SCRAPER; 568 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 558 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 663 SIR DOG; 570 SIR FREE WILLY; 578 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 742 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 14 SLUG; 280 SWEETIE; 102 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 164 TRY-A-FUCK; 162 TURD BURGLAR; 677 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 177 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 20
274 ARSE-HOLEO; 80 B. B.; 26 BIMBO; 339 FESTERING STREAKER; 494 G.I. JOE; 26 IM LAO; 108 KATOY ANAL MASTURBATOR; 321 LONE WOLF; 107 MAD COW; 45 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 52 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 65 NORIEGA; 83 PUSSY SNATCHER; 12 RUNNING DEER; 39 SPANKINSTEIN; 314 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 279 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 62 SUPA DICK; 358 TAMPAX; 43 TESTICLES
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 38
1 SIR CLUGS – Accra Hash, Ghana
1 KUNG FOO – Adelaide Hash, Australia
1 SHORT STUMP – Angkor Hash, Cambodia
4 GOLD FINGER – Auckland Men’s Hash, New Zealand
18 RIGHT SAID – Botany Bay Hash, Australia
7 DODO – Cairns Hash, Australia
1 DOUBLE FISTER – Canberra Hash, Australia
2 SHITHEAD – Canberra Hash, Australia
1 CHATTER BOX – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
1 HOME BREW – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
1 POTATO HEAD – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
3 SKID MARK – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
1 SNAIL TRAIL – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
11 SUGAR DADDY – Eket Hash, Nigeria
1 SPUD – Hamersley Hash, Australia
2 STIR – Hamersley Hash, Australia
1 BILBO – Isle of Wight Hash, UK
1 LATTONON – Isle of Wight Hash, UK
6 CLASSIC – Kakadoo Hash, Darwin, Australia
14 CRAPPER – La Union Hash, Philippines
14 G SPOT – La Union Hash, Philippines
1 WILD ROVER – Lagos Hash, Nigeria
9 PUSSY NUMBER 3 – Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
11 HAWKEYE – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
11 TICK TOCK – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 I AM COMING – Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
2 DOG’S BREATH – Phuket Hash, Thailand
1 MIND THE GAP – Phuket Hash, Thailand
1 SLIPPERY BUM – Phuket Hash, Thailand
7 TOAD – Phuket Hash, Thailand
16 BIGGUS DICKUS – Songkhla Hash, Thailand
1 MR POTATO HEAD – South of Perth Hash, Australia
12 KISS ME DOWN UNDER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
4 PRAYING MANTIS – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
1 LITTLE SHIT – Sunshine Coast Hash, AustraliaS
Virgins – 2
Leavers – 3
Anniversaries – 5
LADY FLIPPER congratulated for her 550th Run
BARNACLE BOLLOX congratulated for his 150th Run
HONEY BEAR received her 100th Run T-Shirt
LINEAR ACCELERATOR congratulated for his 50th Run
MENTAL DISORDER received his 20 Hared Runs Cap
Hash Names – 0 Events
~ none this week ~
Sinners – 0 Events
Birthdays – 1
MAD COW – 10th May