Run 1570


—– RUN REPORT —–

Scribe Report by Absolutely No Fucking Idea

After a bumpy trip in the back of the hash hauler we arrived at the gates of the Asian University, the guards had been doubled and gates locked for today’s run as this small patch of grass has been used in the past as an A site and, these university folk have good memory’s.

This week’s hare’s MENTAL DISORDER, MENSTRUAL DISORDER, BECAUSE IT WAS LIMP & I STRANGLE MY PENIS gave their speech and sent us on our way.

It was a nice trail with plenty of place to stretch your legs on this hot afternoon.

After a chat, snacks and the first few beers SCAR WITH TWO T’S called the circle and put the hares on ice to get a first review of today’s run which came back as good run.

Next SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT take the circle for the raffle with the winners being DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES, GANGREEN, NO MORE CUM, FREE WILLY, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, CABBAGE QUEEN, LONE WOLF & WANK-KING’S WANKER getting a double prize.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle to ice the hares for a real opinion of today’s run, Good run was called again by all the circle as the beer was going down well at this stage.

Next to be iced was WANKING aka The Dalai Lama who had forgotten that it was his birthday but, after so many of them it’s not surprising, and a birthday cake was presented to him with 1000 candles.

The next hasher on ice was NO MORE CUM with the RA describing him as being cheaper than meme (I was taking it not the hasher CHEAPER THAN MEME as he is back in his country of birth Germany at this time) but this in its self is still quite a claim, a bit like an oxymoron of “more than infinity” but, SHEIK MEME was not here to be offended by this which we are all happy about and so are our bar tabs. Anyway NO MORE CUM took out some girl out to the most expensive restaurant in Pattaya (I am having to make that last bit about her being a girl as I missed what was said but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he has not fallen back into his old ways) (all those that have run the PH3 for many years will remember the shocking ice tails that we had to hear and, if you were there but have forgotten could you please pass on the name of you therapist to the rest of us) anyway this girl orders the biggest steak in the joint but after NO MORE CUM offers her his steak & two veg to her for desert she decides that she is a vegetarian.

BECAUSE IT WAS LIMP gets her name changed to ROCK ‘N’ ROLL PROSTITUTE whist sat on I STRANGLED MY PENIS’s lap.

Next the GM hand the circle over to WANK-KING’S WANKER for some stats as GANGREEN is announced as the new GM for the Jungle and has done his 150th PH3 run, well done GANGREEN.

SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD is in the circle for his 71st birthday but no cake for him due to the candle fire risk at the Uni’s request unless we had our own fire marshal at hand.

The leavers that were in for a down down where WANKING, SHORT TIME & PAPRIKA SMILEY and the return of a visitor X-RAY after 27 years, we will wait to hear his tall story next week.

SCAR WITH TWO T’S take the circle again to ice MENTAL DISORDER after he found a dead body on the beach during a recent dogging session.

I STRANGLED MY PENIS was iced for renting a cheap motor bike with what he thought was a broken fuel gauge but turns out to be just No Fuel in the tank you fool, next time leave the thinking to ROCK ‘N’ ROLL PROSTITUTE.

CABBAGE PRINCESS took over from the hares handing out the down downs at some point trying to prove that she belongs at University.

The return of SIR CHICKEN FUCKER to the circle left us with tales of using the tree in the circle to catapult over the now locked university gates too getting lost at his own front door and missing his flight back to the UK, and then the old classic black box fuzzy wig story.

Next SIR CHICKEN FUCKER iced NO MORE CUM for being confused about what team to support at the next football world cup, Somalia, Germany or Wales, it was decided that he blended in with the Somalian crowd the best.

SIR DOG was iced for perving at a breakfast bar and being spotted by SIR CHICKEN FUCKER but this was nothing new.

Circle back to the GM who iced STUPID KRAUT KUNT to explain why he had such a happy ride to the A site on the back of the truck for which ROCK ‘N’ ROLL PROSTITUTE’s bra was to blame.

Hare song was by SHORT TIME.

Hash hymn sung and On On to the TQ for beer and hot dogs.

ON-ON ! Absolutely No Fucking Idea


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—– STATS REPORT —–

Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.

Total Runners this week – 58

44 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week

18 Benjamin Carpenter, 129 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA, 455 BALL RINGER, 280 BELL END, 127 BENGT POTATO, 181 CABBAGE HEAD, 283 CABBAGE QUEEN, 54 CAMEL HUMPER, 189 CHEAP NORGY CUNT, 227 CRACK MY COCCYX, 52 DESERT SCORPION, 210 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES, 1258 EMPEROR AIRHEAD, 253 EMPTY SPERMBANK, 491 G.I. JOE, 150 GANGREEN, 639 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, 5 I STRANGLED MY PENIS, 546 LADY FLIPPER, 46 LADY GAGA, 189 LIBERACE, 47 LINEAR ACCELERATOR, 319 LONE WOLF, 119 MARATHON MAN, 66 MENSTRUAL DISORDER, 78 MENTAL DISORDER, 599 MRS. HEAD, 141 NO MORE CUM, 65 PAPRIKA SMILEY, 248 PELER, 181 SCAR WITH TWO T’S, 554 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, 566 SIR FREE WILLY, 574 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, 738 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, 276 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, 187 STUPID KRAUT KUNT, 276 SWEETIE, 421 TADPOLE, 158 TURD BURGLAR, 38 VASELINE THIGHS, 673 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR, 26 WANKING, 173 WANK-KING’S WANKER 

11 Returners

4 Henrik Hossmann, 93 CABBAGE PRINCESS, 506 LADY BOW WOW, 1065 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER, 81 MINELESS CUNT, 74 RABBIT SHOOTER, 126 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER, 145 RUBBER DICK, 659 SIR DOG, 416 SNOOPY, 312 SQUEEZE MY TUBE 

3 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash

4 ROCK’N’ROLL PROSTITUTE Odense-Nyborg Hash, Denmark
14 SHORT TIME Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
1 X-RAY Phuket Hash, Thailand 

3 Leavers

MARATHON MAN, PAPRIKA SMILEY, WANKING 

1 Birthdays

SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD 

1 Anniversaries

GANGREEN was awarded for his 150th Run 

1 New Hash-name

ROCK’N’ROLL PROSTITUTE Changed Hash Name


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