Scribe Report by Cabbage Head
A familiar area but possibly a new A-site for the Hash. Being fairly close to town, the meat wagon hash hauler soon arrived and sign ups were completed. Initial business in the circle as always was new shoes, in the absence of any, Absolutely No Fucking Idea gets the down down for being a lazy bastard and having new looking shoes. The Hares General Kidney Wiper, Sir Really Sadistic Bastard and Emperor Airhead informed us that the run started over the road, piss cans to hang back for directions to the pub.
The first check was soon upon us and I headed left, Running Bare went straight but I called first. I bumped into a bunch of Russians on Quads when I realized I could see no more paper and headed back to find a yellow FT. Fortunately due to my enthusiastic shouting, I managed to drag half the pack along with me before finding the second false trail in the opposite direction. At this stage I was chatting to the Virgin John Gummer and it turns out he is a fellow Scarborian, small world. We crossed soi Joe Otter again towards 3 Kingdoms and onto a quad track. I managed to do 3 laps before I realized I had been duped and managed to find my way back on true trail. Jogging round the lake alongside Comes with Pressure, we reached the final check; one last FT for me and a steady trot back to the A-site.
Our GM Wank-King’s Wanker called a circle and promptly invited the hares to sit. There were mostly positive comments so the ice time was minimal. Sir Bottomless Pit conducted the raffle, the first winners being the corrupt beer police Flying Finn and Uli. Unusually no Cracks were winners this week. Emperor Airhead took charge and gave his co-hares an icing before inviting beer policeman Uli to enjoy some rectal refreshment. On his way down to his seat, Uli presented his knackers to the crowd leading to him being named Ging Gang Goolie. A slight change in agenda led to the hares song being next, a fine rendition of “One Eyed Trouser Snake” with the Emperor providing lead vocals, close harmony backing from our Scottish friends. Some stats next from the GM including Flapsy’s birthday, 63 years young this week and no doubt over the moon with me publishing the fact here. Sir Spaghetti Head was up next and he invited the Cracks into the circle just to prove he is brave enough to do so and handed the circle over to me. First job was to find a scribe for next week, after much deliberation and several cold arses, Katoy Toy Poodle was volunteered. I took the opportunity to punish as many people as possible as Hashers always deserve it for one reason or another. A serious bout of Alcozheimers and being too lazy to take notes lead me to a bit of a gap, Swing Low and post circle drinks. A new on-on venue, Miss Langsom Bar was probably visited by those living in town and no apologies for inaccuracies as I really don’t care.
ON-ON ! Cabbage Head
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week – 50
32 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
125 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 177 CABBAGE HEAD; 279 CABBAGE QUEEN; 223 CRACK MY COCCYX; 1254 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 249 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 108 FLYING FINN; 487 G.I. JOE; 146 GANGREEN; 635 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 6 GING GANG GOOLIES; 22 JINGLE BALLS; 7 KATOY POODLE; 542 LADY FLIPPER; 185 LIBERACE; 43 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 115 MARATHON MAN; 595 MRS. HEAD; 49 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 159 ROBBING BASTARD; 71 RUNNING BARE; 38 SEXY BUM; 550 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 562 SIR FREE WILLY; 570 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 734 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 272 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 272 SWEETIE; 418 TADPOLE; 130 TWO TIME; 669 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 169 WANK-KING’S WANKER
15 Benjamin Carpenter; 2 Matti Hartikka; 2 Henrik Hossmann; 451 BALL RINGER; 277 BELL END; 168 BILLION SUCKER; 121 BLACK HOLE; 157 CABBAGE FLAPS; 152 CABBAGE KNIEVEL; 92 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 206 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 315 LONE WOLF; 564 SIR MC; 40 STREET CLEANER; 307 VELCRO DICK
2 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash
1 Gerry Escarfullery – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
9 COMES WITH PRESSURE – Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT celebrated his 550th Run
1 New Hash Name
Uli von Berlin was given the Hash Name GING GANG GOOLIES
CABBAGE FLAPS – 12th March