Scribe Report by Sir Wanda
I got to the bus pick-up point early as I knew I would be taking part in a piece of Hash History. The very last time we would be picked up on Second Road. As I imagined there were a lot of hashers there waiting for the arrival of the bus. It duly arrived and everyone scrambled on. As we pulled away I expected to maybe see a tear falling or the odd sob or two, but NO, sweet fuck all. Everyone is well pleased to be out of Second Road and on-on to Third Road Buffalo Bar.
I think the least Pattaya Council could do is make it a Blue Plaque Site.
As we had the same hares this week as last week they gave us the same run in a different area. Last weeks scribe couldn’t have described it better “it was like a beach run without the sea”. The run was short & flat, paper was scarce in places but overall it was enjoyable and a nice work out. We had a new A-site which was very spacious and private. Well done hares.
GM SCAR WITH 2T’s opened the circle at 6.25 PM. Hares briefly on ice, then granted bail to be dealt with later.
The PH3 Weekly Raffle was drawn by SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and the numerous winners were photographed and down-downed, while SIR MISERABLE CUNT was iced for complaining that he never has a winning ticket. Maybe someone should explain to him that he has to buy a ticket first.
RA EMPEROR AIRHEAD took over the circle and got his priorities correct by icing the HARES. He pointed out how romantic the A-site was. Looking up in one direction you could see the star Venus. In the other direction you had the full moon and off to one side you had Buddha Mountain lit up. It was a perfect spot for making baby’s.
VIRGIN’S: were brought in and informed that they all had a new mother PH3 NEVER FORGETS. BALL RINGER & ALIEN INVASION were iced. There was talk of a new religion being formed but as most religions do, it went over my head and I missed it.
Webmaster WANK-KING’S WANKER came in to give the stats for the run. We also got to hear about a new nude bar called M-Club which sounds promising. MENSTRUAL DISORDER was called in to receive her 50 Run Mug. Well Done.
At this time both MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY & GANGREEN were iced for offenses that were too insignificant to remember. VISITOR’S: KERMIT THE FROG from Puerto Galera & RED DICK from Sweden via Chang Mai were welcomed. RETURNER’S: were called in and half the circle responded. It seems that Christmas time everyone comes out of the woodwork.
GM SCAR WITH 2T’s took back the circle and called in BOW WOW who has completed 500 Runs or was it 500 Picnics. Anyway this grand achievement means that she will now be known as LADY BOW WOW and will be aloud to sit in the circle.
GM must have been feeling gracious as he relieved SIR FREE WILLY of the HASH SHIT. Overachiever CRAZY GERMAN was put in the bucket, well done GM. & PRAYING MANTIS was iced, even more well done GM.
SIR CHICKEN FUCKER took the circle and spread malicious rumours about yours truly from my Phuket days. HELIUM HEAD & HAIRY PUSSY were called in, I think it was something to do with special price haircuts. SIR CHICKEN FUCKER asked the circle to put their hands up if they liked Christmas. Only one hand went up NUTCRACKER, he likes Christmas because its also his Birthday.
¼ POUNDER WITH CHEESE told how he had been given a present one Christmas, when he unwrapped it he found an empty Action Man box. His dad told him Action Man had deserted. BALLRINGER is a bit short this Christmas so is going to Microwave his kid for dinner. KNOB MARLEY is in turmoil as JAILBAIT is having a baby and because he hasn’t seen her in over a year is wondering if he’s the father. Answers on a postcard please. TADPOLE and a variety of cracks were then iced for the pleasure of the rest of us.
GM SCAR W2T’S took over and iced NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER as he’s the closest PH3 has to a Chinese who have just landed on the moon. Sign-ups are now open for the first PH3 on the moon. Worst dad of the year or any other year for that matter was NO MORE CUM who has once again left his daughter in UK for Christmas on handouts while he enjoys Sin City.
GM allowed me to pick next weeks scribe, as I was doing this NUTCRACKER gobbed off and he found himself in the bucket. Som Nom Na. GANGREEN iced for being a very fat version of the GANGREEN he once was on Phuket. STEPTOE agreed to be next week’s scribe and then sang us “The Lumberjack” song, or at least the bits he could remember. I then did a duet with him of one of Phuket’s favourite songs “I like Cunt”.
Circle finished off as all ways with the Hash Hymn.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 96
56 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
2 Dao Thongkom; 182 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 441 BALL RINGER; 115 BENGT POTATO; 15 BIGGUS DICKUS; 112 BLACK HOLE; 87 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 267 CABBAGE QUEEN; 40 CAMEL HUMPER; 212 CRACK MY COCCYX; 5 CRAPPER; 104 CRAZY PUSSY; 38 DESERT SCORPION; 196 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1243 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 239 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 5 G SPOT; 134 GANGREEN; 623 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 32 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 10 HAWKEYE; 77 HELIUM HEAD; 137 HORSE; 500 LADY BOW WOW; 531 LADY FLIPPER; 37 LADY GAGA; 174 LIBERACE; 33 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 45 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 103 MARATHON MAN; 63 MENTAL DISORDER; 583 MRS. HEAD; 37 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 136 NO MORE CUM; 13 NUT CRACKER; 11 PAROU PAROU; 237 PELER; 261 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 6 POL DANCER; 147 ROBBING BASTARD; 59 RUNNING BARE; 553 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 652 SIR DOG; 551 SIR FREE WILLY; 558 SIR MC; 558 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 28 SIR WANDA; 410 SNOOPY; 77 SPECIAL PRICE; 121 STEPTOE; 262 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 260 SWEETIE; 94 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 296 VELCRO DICK; 658 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 157 WANK-KING’S WANKER
10 BELL STAR; 177 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 10 GIVE ME ONE; 99 HONEY BEAR; 22 IM LAO; 107 KNOB MARLEY; 19 KUNG FU QUEEN; 306 LONE WOLF; 1060 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 52 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 41 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 89 NO TRUCKING IDEA; 45 ONE MORE TIME; 54 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 51 POCAHONTAS; 25 PUSSY WHIPPED; 71 RABBIT SHOOTER; 46 RASPUTIN; 116 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 166 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 69 SCARLET; 27 SEXY BUM; 538 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 416 TADPOLE; 273 TREE FROG; 151 TRY-A-FUCK; 155 UP THE BUTT
10 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash
24 BIMBO – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
3 CANNON BALL – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
6 FLUFFER – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
5 CRAZY GERMAN – Nadi Hash, Fiji
1 Kiuawan Inkrang – Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
9 ZENERGY – Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
12 SHORT TIME – Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
11 KERMIT THE FROG – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
1 REDDICK – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
2 PRAYING MANTIS – Subic Bay Hash, Philippine
LADY BOW WOW – achieved her 500th Run
MENSTRUAL DISORDER – received her 50th Run Mug
MRS HEAD had a birthday on the 18th December
1 Hash Name
BOW WOW will be known in future as LADY BOW WOW
1 Hash Shit
SIR FREE WILLY is no longer HASH SHIT