Scribe Report by Seal Sucker
Shit Hot, Johnnie turns up in the Hash Bus, it is so much more comfortable than those bloody baht buses, so we are off to a good start already with the weather being good as well. The hares MENTAL and MENSTRUAL DISORDERS and SEXY BUM must have been a bit concerned about the rain Sunday night, it pissed down in Pattaya for hours.
By the way this scribe is not going to be a novel like ROBBING BASTARDS’s, his went On and On apparently unlike me on trail. The A-Site‘s a good one, well elevated with scenic views of many miles of good hashing trails. The usual bull-shit from the hares about the run and we are off, hopping, skipping and jumping for joy.
The hares were right about a shitty trail, we come across elephant turds the size of TURD BURGLAR, except with less flies on them. The usual checks and F.T.s which all add to the fun of hashing are solved, but if there was a manual written for short cutting it would be written in Norwegian.
GM WANK-KING’S WANKER calls the circle, ices the hares, it’s agreed ok run, no one hurt, no one lost which is always (boring) a bonus.
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT does the raffle. The great prizes on display are won by the winners – CHEAPER THAN MEME wins a couple, and SEXY BUM wins a huge hunk of meat she can chew on whilst PUSSY WHIPPED is taking care of his mum back in Sweden, apparently someone said with a pillow.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD puts the hares on ice. MENTAL and MENSTRUAL are hitch-hiking across Mongolia to India, it’s pointed out they could get butt-raped on the way. MENTAL smiles and says hopefully, because that’s where the Ozzies like it. SIR MC and twin sister are on ice and EMPEROR AIRHEAD names sister GOLDEN PUBES ,so much for democracy, it used to be fun in the circle naming people.
CIA mentions it was sorted out in a earlier circle, and he preferred the hash name that was suggested, LARD ARSE PUBES. STUPID KRAUT KUNT ices SIR MC and gives him his 50th miserable year present which was a short-time wank cap.
MENTAL DISORDER ices hashers that went to Cambodia for Koh Rong Run ,he thanked them for being his alcohol mules at the Had Lek border crossing. Whoops I’ve lost a page never mind!
GM takes over circle and has lots of hashers to ice and discovers only the boat people and a few homeless souls are left, everyone with a car has long gone.
STEPTOE steps in and sings the hares a song, something about “When He Pisses He’s In Pain”. Last down-downs are downed. Hash hymn is sung, and the twenty or so Rent-A-Hashers get on the bus heading back to Secrets.
Happy ejaculating you never know when it’s going to be your last one!
On On ! Seal Sucker
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 66
43 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
Roger Nyseth;432 BALL RINGER;494 BOW WOW;165 CABBAGE HEAD; 82 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 259 CABBAGE QUEEN;171 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 28 CHEAPER THAN MEME;188 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES;1235 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 37 FREQUENT STREAKER;125 GANGREEN;523 LADY FLIPPER; 29 LADY GAGA;165 LIBERACE;24 LINEAR ACCELERATOR;47 MANX PEDOPHILE PUSSY FUCKER; 99 MARATHON MAN; 47 MENSTRUAL DISORDER;54 MENTAL DISORDER;176 MISSING LINK;574 MRS. HEAD;253 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER;16 PISSED AS A RAT;139 ROBBING BASTARD;157 SEAL SUCKER; 530 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT;646 SIR DOG;543 SIR FREE WILLY;549 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 82 SLIPPERY ARSE;405 SNOOPY;112 STEPTOE; 254 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS;179 STUPID KRAUT KUNT;251 SWEETIE; 91 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 146 TRY-A-FUCK;152 TURD BURGLAR;488 UNCLE PERVY; 650 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR;148 WANK-KING’S WANKER;84 WEE MOANING WEASEL
4 Benjamin Carpenter; 4Amonrat Tongthai; 266 BELL END; 158 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 223 BIN TIN TIN; 153 CABBAGE FLAPS; 32 CIA; 231 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 3 GOLDEN PUBES;26 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 93 HONEY BEAR; 1057 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER;31 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 154 PISSED POLE DANCER; 69 RABBIT SHOOTER;26 SEXY BUM;550 SIR MC; 70 SMELLY BASTARD;61 TINKA BELL;
3 Visitors with their Total Runs
20 BANANAS – Auckland Men Hash, New Zealand
5 BIGGUS DICKUS – Den Hagg, Holland
4 Supatra Haussranoi – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR – 650th Run
SIR MC – 550th Run
MANX PEDOPHILE PUSSY FUCKER
PISSED AS A RAT
NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER – Hash Crash Removed
BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK
1 New Hash Name
Jude Ivory – GOLDEN PUBES