What a GREAT day! Hares were the irrepressible VV and the depressible Tampax.
Behind the Aussie Site out off the 3240 was the A-site on the side of the road in a deeply wooded area with lush undergrowth and one hundred and ninety seven thousand different tribes of mosquitos! The gathering at the sign up table were a club of alcoholics justifying their membership to this elite fraternity of riff raff! The tax collectors were the ever sober Liberachy and the forever drunk Ball Ringer (who by the way has claimed a baby recently and was at pains to explain to your scribe that it was definitely his, which I thought was pretty bloody obvious having seen his misses).
The faces where the surprise! Helix, Sheik Meme, Finni The Faggot, Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Free Willy, all having been absent for at least a year! (Ball Ringer asked each of them to spell their names, having a progressive mental blank). Talking about mental blanks, Spaghetti Head was busying himself for another sortie against the advancing enemy, weather real or not. And in this case his inner thoughts were focused on the former larger than life Free Willy! Now, we are not going to make this scribe report about Free Willy, except to say that it must have been hell for his fellow inmates! Ray Crook! You can’t script this shit! The run was in some of the most beautiful country that the PH3 has access to, and combine that with the haring ability of irrepressible Vietnamese Violator and the ever so depressible Tampax and you have got the makings of a great afternoon out! And we were not disappointed! Lots of blue and yellow checks and back checks and lovely little running trails, that saw the frontrunners in the form of the Kiwi cocksucker, sorry, Seal Sucker (just the rugby business I guess), come in in 45 minutes.
A very funny sight in Dumb, Dumber and Even More Dumber (General Kidney Wiper, Wee Jimmy and Spag Head) stager in after an hour, bloodied and sober, having not located the local bar in the dense jungle that they were looking for. Meanwhile the mosquitos think all their Christmases had come at once and were feasting on anything stationary, while all others were deep in mindless conversation and bullshit whilst desperately avoiding eye contact with that Free Willy guy. The day was made even more pleasant with the absence of Miserable C#nt! The Grand Master in the form of Wanking’s Wanker was extremely entertaining, and one can see his natural ability and passion, gained by years of experience and training as a hermit, to purge himself of the capitalist excesses imposed on him by Exxon, has been a priceless failed experiment!
The former GM in the form of Hellboy (another failed experiment), took the circle in what seemed like a sense of duty to his beloved PH3, knowing that Airhead and Chicken Fuck#r were missing in action, and that we, the PH3, would be desperately grateful for his input, started off by saying “today, I am not werry funny”. He did not lie at that point! Just another girl breaking his heart we were guessing? When will those young men learn! Some sort of obsession “how many kilos you loose?” and “how many kilos you over?” was the repeated question in various formats to just about everyone……..except Spag! The hareraises in the Mental Disorder and Horse were given accolades for their relentless efforts. And in the absence of Horse, who will return to the goldfields to seek his petrol money for getting there and back, Mental Disorder will continue the charge to make sure that VV is available Mondays! Talking about VV, here I sit with grumbly innards having consumed a medium rare sausage that was left over from Run# 1537, that has survived the week in the tropics, having visited two a-sites and VV fridge on three separate occasions! Oh what joy! None the less, the fried onions, also from the week before and the Dujon mustard were the highlights. I am glad I am not gluten intolerant however, because I would be fkn dead!
CARE FOR KIDS! SUNDAY 8 SEPTEMBER AT REGENTS SCHOOL! Bring your families and your thirst, and don’t eat anything on Saturday! Catch up with your friends and you might be lucky enough to catch a glimpse, or better still get an autograph of Lone Wolf! Shuttle bus from Father Rays on the Sukhumvit for all you piss heads! “Great Circle” were the words relentlessly repeated from Ball Ringers mouth! No surprise there, however if you missed it, you missed a great time! If I have forgotten to mention you, your antics and/or your involvement in the Pattaya Hash Run # 1538….stiff shit! The views expressed by Sheik Meme are in no way endorsed by the PH3 any of its allied morons or in fact Sheik Meme himself. Get over it! I am really looking forward to the Veterans Run next week hared by Spag Head and General Kidney Wiper and Spag has the brush cutter permanently strapped to the roof of the car, just in case!
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 64
39 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
77 B. B. 97 CRAZY PUSSY; 33 DESERT SCORPION; 181 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 226 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 462 G.I. JOE; 118 GANGREEN; 21 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 280 HELLBOY; 87 HONEY BEAR; 130 HORSE; 158 LIBERACE; 17 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 36 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 296 LONE WOLF; 41 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 48 MENTAL DISORDER; 524 MIDNIGHT STAR; 567 MRS. HEAD; 25 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 226 PELER; 43 POCAHONTAS; 47 RUNNING BARE; 199 SEAGULL SHIT; 646 SIR ARSE HOPPER; 539 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 525 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 639 SIR DOG; 542 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 709 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 398 SNOOPY; 286 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 244 SWEETIE; 643 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 141 WANK-KING’S WANKER
21 Sawn Morya; 26 Nicole Nilsen; 23 Amanda Nilsen; 177 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 263 BELL END; 107 BLACK HOLE; 302 EXTRA TESTICLE; 381 FINI THE FAGGOT; 613 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 9 GIVE ME ONE; 87 HELIX; 134 HONEY BUNNY; 516 LADY FLIPPER; 36 OLIVE OIL; 151 PISSED POLE DANCER; 23 PUSSY WHIPPED; 151 SEAL SUCKER; 24 SEXY BUM; 138 SHEIK MEME; 536 SIR FREE WILLY; 415 TADPOLE; 353 TAMPAX
2 Visitors with their Total Runs and Mother Hash
6 HERRING CHOKER — Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
21 SPERM POLLUTER — Phuket Hash, Thailand
LIBERACE – 31st August