“… Tell me why I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why I don’t like Mondays….
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot, the whole day down”
Why Bob Geldof and Boomtown Rats don’t like Mondays must be because they don’t hash with the Pattaya Hash House Harriers!!!! Or???
Well, this monday started (or rather ended) as usual, waiting for the Black Pearl to arrive at soi 13/1, to take us hashers out to our next hash-destination. And she came!
This A-site was one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen. The hares today, V.V and Tampax, had made an about 8 km long run. The sky was blue clear and it was very hot. Much sun, little shade.
Today I decided to walk. Walk all the 8 km, but someone cheated me and at the end I only made a 3 km walk L Ok, it was rather good, but a little bit too short for me. When we came back to the beautiful A-site many people already sat nicely, well organized, in a little ring around V.V’s BBQ-table.
They all looked like nice small schoolboys sitting and waiting for the teacher to be finished
You could not believe that this was old, grumpy (very hungry) hashers!
As always when the circle starts, the hares are put on the ice. GM thanks them for a great run and they can drink their down downs. Then the beer master, Bottomless Pitt takes over with his lottery. He tells that GI Joe has donated an exclusive clock for this special occasion. But……??? Didn’t GI Joe win this clock last week????
However, I must mention, I won the big 2 liters of red wine!!!!! Yeah, thank you Squeeze my tube for selling me this lottery!!! And it goes on…. Emperior Airhead gets the circle and takes in the virgins, they were 5 of them at the start, but only one of them enters the ring!!!! Did the other ones get lost in the jungle??? Oh no….. after the down down, 2 wonderful, sweet kids, 6-7 years old, enters the ring and tells us they also are virgins, Stephanie and Jessica! Very cute!
And the next cutie entering the ring was meeeee……! Airhead really must love my baking because he takes me in to the ring and honors me for the cake. Ok, I had to share the moment with some other bloke Rear Gunner because of some cheeses L When Wang King’s Wanker took the circle he rewared Bengt Potato for achieving 100 runs for the PH3. Great! But what I understood this was for over 1 year ago??? Well, he must have tried to stay away of one reason or another, but you can never avoid the PH3 and our desire to drink a down down for someone that has achieved something great!
Leavers were put on the ice, B.B and Stupid Kraut Kant, and as a surprise, me
Now I realize, a leaver is someone who is NOT on the hash next time! Even if you’re only busy with something else and not actually are going to leave. But, we got free down downs, so it was ok. Next time when we come back, we are returners! That means more down downs?
Next on the schedule – visitors on the ice! Two of them, guys from Jebel, Oman, didn’t want to sit on the ice with bare skin because of cultural differences. Hmmmm…..! I didn’t understand that at
They come to Thailand, take their pants of for all the girls (or boys), and they can not sit on the ice with bare skin??? What’s the difference? Well, Wang King’s Wanker is a very understanding and intelligent man, so he made them choose; sit on the ice with bare skin or in the bucket! One chose ice, one chose the bucket. In all of this, Ganggreen walks in the circle and put his pale ass on the ice. He had got a red card from the chief inspector, Mental Disorder, for disturbing the circle. Maybe Ganggreen should stay with being a scribe?
The last week there was a big hash in the Philippines and several of the hashers were there. B.B got the circle and put those guys on the ice; E.T, Testicles, Seal Sucker and the Jebel-men. Then we all got a really nice story about the Phillipino-hash and the true story of why Crazy Pussy was washing E.T’s underwear.
After that B.B puts all gentlemen (who are they?), over the age of 55, on the ice. Surprisingly, not so many as I thought it would be, but they did fill all the ice-seats. Then he asked the men, with wifes/girlfriends over 30 years of age, to leave the ice. Two geezers left! And the winner in age-difference was (of cause!): Sugar Daddy! I think B.B needed this for his own self esteem. This was a league he wanted someone else to win. Sugar Daddy was celebrated with a down down song from us all!
Now it’s getting late and it is the beginning of the end. And since the hares were on the ice
at the beginning of the circle, V.V has been sleeping in his chair most of the time.
He must have had a very hard day with a tough run, much sun and all food-catering. But now it’s time for GM to put the hares on the ice again. Tampax shuffles in and sits on the ice, but where is V.V??? Of course still very heavily sleeping! What to do? Well, there are many strong men on the hash, so some of them just lifted V.V up and put him on the ice. But he couldn’t sit on his own, he constantly slipped off. Solution? The garbage can became his salvation!
GM Scar with two T’s is a man who doesn’t like to be scammed. And when he is, he puts people on the ice. That’s why both Sugar Daddy and Pussy Whipped was put on the ice. And because Pussy Whipped is Pussy Whipped he ended up in the bucket! Why break a fine tradition?
I don’t know if Scar and Wang King’s Wanker are a little bit afraid of me being a scribe with so much ice-power, but they didn’t want me to have the circle, I had to remind them that I was presents!!! Well, next weeks scribe is going to be Kiwi Seal Sucker! The hares had been foresighted (I’m thinking of V.V sleeping) and let Honeybear perform
with a nice hare-song. Thank’s Honeybear for let us avoid having to hear the other two singing!!!
And a very big thanks to Squeeze my Tube for serving me a very god papaya-salad. It made me to a very bad scribe today. Eating and writing in the same time out in the hash is not at good combination.
Let’s hash on-on! Sexy Bum
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 72
38 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
409 BALL RINGER; 11 BANANAS; 255 BELL END; 8 BIRD FLEW; 172 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1216 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 37 FINGERLESS; 101 GANGREEN; 27 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 30 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 33 MENTAL DISORDER; 551 MRS. HEAD; 49 NEXT WEEK; 244 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 28 PISSED UP MERMAID; 34 POCAHONTAS; 4 POL DANCER; 13 PUSSY WHIPPED; 190 REAR GUNNER; 132 ROBBING BASTARD; 38 RUNNING BARE; 158 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 148 SEAL SUCKER; 8 SECRET STAR; 13 SEXY BUM; 510 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 622 SIR DOG; 529 SIR MC; 694 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 61 SMELLY BASTARD; 307 SMILING BROWN SPIDER; 177 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 228 SWEETIE; 402 TADPOLE; 343 TAMPAX; 86 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 627 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 124 WANK-KING’S WANKER
3 Paul Janzen; 8 Donald Joe; 69 B. B.; 103 BENGT POTATO; 470 BOW WOW; 215 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 296 EXTRA TESTICLE; 57 FISH FUCKER; 446 G.I. JOE; 70 HONEY BEAR; 141 LIBERACE; 90 MARATHON MAN; 507 MIDNIGHT STAR; 68 MUD CRACKER; 215 PELER; 112 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 629 SIR ARSE HOPPER; 523 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 525 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 383 SNOOPY; 271 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 38 TESTICLES; 132 TRY-A-FUCK; 478 UNCLE PERVY
7 SUGAR DADDY — Eket Hash, Nigeria
14 DEEP SHIT — Gold Coast Hash, Australia
1 SAOODU — Jebel Hash, Oman
1 SHAGGERZULU — Jebel Hash, Oman
14 MUD’S CRACKER — Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
1 Fon Chalad — Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
STUPID KRAUT KUNT
BENGT POTATO — 100th Run T-Shirt