Today I’m the scribe! I had to ask Wang King’s Wanker about instructions for a scribe and he informed me; ”Just write whatever you want, it doesn’t even have to be about the hash”! So I’ll do so! I am Sexy Bum, the dog loving, baker, hot chick from Sweden who always makes cookies. Or no, wait, I am from Austria. No, wrong again…!!!
I am from Austria AND Sweden, That’s right! I always dream’t being a journalist or writer of any kind and now I got the opportunity! If not I want to be a dog trainer. But that’s what I was doing as a hobby in Sweden.
When I was born in Austria 19xx……….. Alright, alright, alright!!! I’ll write about the hash then, because you nagging so much!!!
This was the run 1519 and despite of Songkran we gathered 56 runners. That’s very good! Today’s hares, Scar with 2 T’s, Sir MC and Stupid Kraut Kunt, made a very good and pleasant run of about 6 km. Before the run we were informed there were no cattle but many angry dogs. But they didn’t tell us that they planted a wasp-colony by the on-in-sign!!!
Because of Scar being a hare, todays GM was Wank King’s Wanker. When the circle started, after the run, it began with the hares on the ice, getting well-earned down-downs. Then Stupid Kraut Kunt thought he would do a “Pussy-Whipped”, i.e. sat down on the ice, but in a very funny way slide of the ice with his down down in the hand!!! The hare were praised for the good trail, the whistles we all got and the free food we were served up.
The second time the hares came on the ice, Stupid Kraut Kunt was in his climax/element, sat down on the ice, slides off AGAIN, was put in the bucket and had his own naked go-go-show there! What happened next is censored. V.V was put on the ice because he always makes all the food for the hungry runners with his “French cuisine”. Great thanks being put on the ice! Also was the landowner thanked for letting us use her land for the A-site!
The virgins entered the circle, 2 American hippies and one sweet Thai-girl!
Last week Bird-Flu got his hash-name and this week it was his wife’s turn to get baptized. Bird-Flu was put on the ice by Emperor Airhead, and Oy was told to either go and sit on his lap or sit on the ice. And, of course, she picked the ice!!! She was thereafter named to the exotic name, Secret Star! Then both Wang Kings Wanker and Scar took the circle and one more time got V.V in, to give him his cap for making 110 hares!!! Wow! How does he manage!
Border-Line, with a twisted ankle and based himself on a crutch, came limping in to the circle to receive a down, down for completing 50 runs today.
After that Sir MC was put on the ice, but I’m not really sure of why. He got his down-down, they sang for him and then he could leave the ice???? But what do I know, I’m just from……….? Europe!
Then three respectful visitors entered the circle, representing the Sunshine Coast Hash, Brisbane, Australia – Toocan, Shafter and Charcoal!
– Lord Chicken Fucker who got a nice chicken-hat
– King YaoYao because he in English cannot pronounce his German name, Günther, correct!
– Lord Chicken Fucker again, and this time he got a new nice hat, a roast chicken!
After Stupid Kraut Kunt talked nineteen to the dozen, it was Lord Chicken Fucker’s turn to make his round in the circle. But it was very confusing and I did not understand anything. He begins with going 3 rounds in the circle not remembering what he did there. Suddenly he remembers and goes on talking about something incoherent which ends in “fucking the cat”!!!
Joint GM Wank King’s Wanker hands over the circle to Scar again who takes the virgin Thai-girl into the circle asking her to explain how it comes she has a Monkey-hash shirt on and from whom she got it. The guilty one is Beetroot Head who naturally, is put into the bucket, with his lovely girlfriend on the top, for being a “cheap Charlie”!
Then…….!!!! It was my turn.
Me me me me me…. (the scribe) to enter the circle!
- No More Cum because he is leaving us and Thailand and misses the next hash where I am the hare!!!
- V.V because when he sees I’m the scribe, he wanted me to know that he cannot be the scribe next time because he was stung by a wasp on his right hand!
- The “hippie” American because he wanted a picture of my bum! Nice guy
- Pussy Whipped for being caught, again, smoking! Everyone knows he does not smoke!
- Gangreen for being the old old old hash-flash
The Emperor Airhead takes the 3 American “hippies” in the circle, puts them on the ice and ask them what they really do in Pattaya, because he doesn’t think they are here because of the hash! Tampax whispers to me that he doesn’t think they look like Americans, they look like Scandinavian Vikings!!!! But he’s right!
However, they don’t want to say what they really are doing here in Pattaya so the Emperor has to guess; sex tourists? Surfers? Going to boystown? What? We sing them a down-down song and then they can leave the ice.
In the end it’s time for the three (öööhhhh, reduced to two???) hares to sing us a hare-song. What a disappointment! These proud men! Singing ten (10) words, and then it’s finished!!! The shortest hare-song I’ve ever heard. Probably as short as there…….! No rock-stars in sight there!
As always, the fun has an end, and it’s now, singing the hash-hymn!
The Bus then leaves to the on-on bar for those young people who manage more fun!
Yours sincerely scribe
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 56
36 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
2 Vasana Elmthongkam; 407 BALL RINGER; 9 BANANAS; 12 BEETROOT HEAD; 253 BELL END; 6 BIRD FLEW; 103 BLACK HOLE; 50 BORDERLINE; 170 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1214 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 104 FLYING FINN; 445 G.I. JOE; 99 GANGREEN; 140 LIBERACE; 25 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 28 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 31 MENTAL DISORDER; 549 MRS. HEAD; 134 NO MORE CUM; 32 POCAHONTAS; 11 PUSSY WHIPPED; 130 ROBBING BASTARD; 36 RUNNING BARE; 156 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 6 SECRET STAR; 11 SEXY BUM; 508 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 527 SIR MC; 692 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 270 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 175 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 226 SWEETIE; 341 TAMPAX; 27 VASELINE THIGHS; 625 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 122 WANK-KING’S WANKER
43 BLUE BALLS; 145 CABBAGE FLAPS; 143 CABBAGE KNIEVEL; 190 CRACK MY COCCYX; 308 FUCK THE TRUTH; 132 GREYHOUND; 878 KING YAO YAO; 1045 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 5 MY BEAR ASS; 242 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 111 PINKABOO; 188 REAR GUNNER; 146 SEAL SUCKER; 121 THAT’S THE ONE
3 Visitors with their Total Runs Mother Hash
1 CHARCOAL — Sunshine Coast Hash, Australia
1 SHAFTER — Sunshine Coast Hash, Australia
1 TOOCAN — Sunshine Coast Hash, Australia
NO MORE CUM
V. V. — Hared 110 Hat
BORDERLINE — 50th Run
1 New Hash Name
Chaluai Munkhong named SECRET STAR