It felt good to be back after about 4 months without hashing. Suzie Wong and myself were warmly welcomed at the beautiful A-site. It felt like we have never been away.
As we arrived it was raining slightly and we expect more to come.
The 1st circle was called and was very short because there were no virgins, no new shoes or other stuff to mention.
So out it goes, 73 runners on the run. The rain stopped immediately so it was perfect weather for running. After passing a rubber tree plantation it goes straight up the hill. From there we had a beautiful view over Pattaya.
The walkers turned left and went back through a beautiful valley. So we did and arrived safely at the A-site.
I heard some bad stories about TAMPAX. But he argued that it must have been his evil twin brother, because he’s goody two shoes. As usual, V.V. provides excellent food made by himself. Especially the curry chicken I would die for! A bunch of Norwegians were sitting in a small circle and made some noise. They always claim that it is a language, but I hardly can believe it. WANK-KING’S WANKER pulled me over to our famous Hash Quack FLYIN’ FINN to get my dose of mystique, healthy Finnish medicine called Salmiakki. Wow, that was good! GM Scar W2Ts calls the 2nd circle. Tough it was dark already, I could continue making notes thanks to TAMPAX’ spotlight. The hares were put on the ice. All comments on the run were good, except from BARNACLE BULLOCKS. He claimed there were not enough bees because he only got stung only by one. The biggest raffle prize was a dustbuster. Oh wonder, this was not the first prize taken and even not the second!
Then T-SPOON was iced. He brought some virgins the week before and they get hurt on the run, so they couldn’t enjoy the fun later on in the circle. The circle was given to EMPEROR AIRHEAD, who iced the hares again. Overall, the conclusion was that they did a tremendous job!
Then a guy named Jaal, who is singing in and sometimes conducting a choir was iced. This caused EMPEROR AIRHEAD to explain us about the correlation between the singing voice and the size of the balls. I don’t want to go into the details further… In the end, Jaal got his hash name and from now on we call him JINGLE BALLS. It was then GM Scar W2Ts was put on the ice. He has birthday on the same day as Buddha. Although this in is a good omen itself, it has the disadvantage that on the day all bars are closed. The circle was handed over to WANK-KING’S WANKER and we get all the truth and facts. SMELLY BASTARD was awarded for 50 runs and gets his mug.
GM Scar W2Ts takes the circle again and iced the returners, ROBBIN’ BASTARD for lost property, RSB for start walking, FLYIN’ FINN for starting a BMI discussion with WANK-KING’S WANKER . After BARNACLE BULLOCKS sings a song about “stormy weather” and “pullin’ together”, MIDNIGHT STAR was awarded for 500 runs. Wow, only 11 years old and already 500 runs! In that moment I tought even if I will get 100 years old, I won’t reach this. But after that, the best brwemaster in the world, BOTTOMLESS PIT was also honored for 500 runs. He looks like being slightly below 100 years old, so at least I get a chance…
A guy named DON was called on the ice. He picked up a girl from Beach Rd. and “drove her home”. So far, so good – but not at 8.30 in the morning, eh? Maybe it’s cheaper at that time of day. STEPTOE sings us a very nice song about what can happen to an inexperienced guy coming first time to Pattaya. The hares were called to sing us a song and they made some melodious noise. I already gave some explanation about that.
At the end, we were led into the Hash hymn by TURD BURGLER. After that another exciting and entertaining Monday hash was finished and we all went home. See you next week, guys! OnOn! Hulk
A message from V.V. On run 1514 of March 11th, V.V. will hare with Jackal and will also lay on a BBQ instead of his usual sandwich buffet. Be sure to come along as V.V’s home made burgers are very very tasty !
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total runners this week = 74
61 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
3 Joe Donald; 3 Georg Rasmussen; 5 Sirinan T.n. dee; 2 Amorat Thongthai; 82 ANAL CHEESE; 399 BALL RINGER; 143 BARNACLE BOLLOX; 245 BELL END; 143 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 500 BOTTOMLESS PIT; 144 CABBAGE FLAPS; 142 CABBAGE KNIEVEL; 71 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 25 CAMEL HUMPER; 164 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 73 CRAZY PUSSY; 23 DESERT SCORPION; 163 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1207 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 207 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 96 FLYING FINN; 132 FROG LICKS ITS DICK; 438 G.I. JOE; 91 GANGREEN; 277 GERMAN SHEPHERD; 71 HELIUM HEAD; 63 HONEY BEAR; 106 HORSE; 7 JINGLE BALLS; 277 KARAMBA; 164 KEE MAH; 18 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 86 MARATHON MAN; 500 MIDNIGHT STAR; 541 MRS. HEAD; 40 NEXT WEEK; 207 PELER; 109 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER; 123 ROBBING BASTARD; 28 RUNNING BARE; 148 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 622 SIR ARSE HOPPER; 516 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 520 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 685 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 77 SLIPPERY ARSE; 71 SPECIAL PRICE; 265 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 106 STEPTOE; 235 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 218 SWEETIE; 333 TAMPAX; 14 TEASPOON; 84 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 126 TRY-A-FUCK; 139 TURD BURGLAR; 476 UNCLE PERVY; 288 VELCRO DICK; 617 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 117 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 81 WEE MOANING WEASEL
4 Boerre Hetty; 466 BOW WOW; 155 CABBAGE HEAD; 249 CABBAGE QUEEN; 41 HULK; 66 MUD CRACKER; 40 RASPUTIN; 616 SIR DOG; 55 SMELLY BASTARD; 379 SNOOPY; 15 SUZY WONG
2 Visitors with their Total Runs Mother Hash
12 MUD’S CRACKER — Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
4 Jurgen Steinhoff — Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
3 Anniversaries Run Event Credentials
BOTTOMLESS PIT — 500th Run
MIDNIGHT STAR — 500th Run
SMELLY BASTARD — 050th Run Mug
1 New Hash Names Event:
Jarl Engebretsen named JINGLE BALLS — New Hash Name