Finally the event we have all been looking forward to is here. The PH3 run no. 1500. It was with great anticipation that we arrived at the A-site. And we were not disappointed. The A-site was located on a field at the edge of a dense forest and the grass on the ground was nicely manicured. Everything was looking great. The hares Odd Job and Liberace had really lived up to their reputation. And Sir Spaghetti Head as usual, acted as a traffic police and made us all park in a highly organized manner.
So, after the usual bullshit talk in the 1 st. circle, and the hares giving us the guidelines for the run, off we went in a orderly row. The trail led us through some of the most beautiful paths and patches of forests I have ever experienced in my days of hashing. Truly in the spirit of the event of the 1500’th run. Everything was looking great until we came to the hill! The trail up the hill having been laid by Liberace was a real challenge and I soon found out that I had made a tactical error using most of my energy on the easy part of the trail, not anticipating what was ahead. But I was not the only one.
Halfway up I spotted Wank-King ‘s Wanker hiding in the bush talking to himself: “I am terrible, fucking useless”. I tried to comfort him, telling him that there were other person worse off than him, but he just mumbled: “Look at me, I can’t even find a road for a truck to drive me over”. By this I quickly left and continued on the trail. After some more climbing I really got exhausted but finally managed to reach back to the A-site discovering that I was not the only one having had a hard time.
At the A-site I approached Scar With Two T’s asking him if he was the GM today. He just replied: “I am GM every day the rest of my life”. Generally I got the idea so I dropped to venture further into this issue.
As usual VV provided us with some excellent food, this time his famous hamburgers spiced with Provence Herbs. Flying Finn, after serving VV a shot of his Salmiakiii Vodka, tried to grab for VV’s money box with the result that his hands got burned on the barbeque. The smell was just awful. And then the surprise of the day, real anniversary cakes. Emperor Airhead was the first to help himself, he muttered “I really love chock lade cake and grabbed a fistful of cake. After having consumed the cake, his face reminded me of my girlfriend’s hash name: Black Hole. Liberace traded cakes against a hamburger with Horse helping him out. Liberace only wanted a half of the hamburger bread, he had a lengthy discussion with Horse about this and we can only guess which part of the hamburger bread he chose. The top or the bottom?
Then it was time for the 2nd circle. And a truly international circle it was. All major nations in the world were represented and the Scar with two T’s had reincarnated from a time long gone in the person of a beautiful blond Viking girl. But his style was recognizable as always; His brain is on vacation and his mouth is working overtime. The hares were duly iced and the big question of the evening was; when was the first PH3 run. The answer from the circle was very quick: When Scar With Two T’s was slim. After this reply the confusion was increasing so I guess we are left with this as the only answer.
Then, raffle time, and as usual Bottomless Pit made grate fuzz and created a lot of confusion. In addition Karambawas looking over my shoulders to see the notes I was taking, so I really did not follow what was going on in the circle. However I managed to note down that the most prominent winner was Next Week, as will celebrate his 70’th Birthday on the 4.th of December.
It was time for Emperor Airhead to take control of the circle and he made the following important announcement:” My days as a front runner are over”. The circle immediately fell silent, everybody felt sad and contemplating what to do next. Then Emperor Airhead took us down the memory lane of PH3, when Sir Spaghetti Head was not a Sir and was wearing short pants, when General Kidney Wiper nearly being eaten by a shark and about all the hash trucks that had gone by. Wank-King’s Wanker was back in the circle announcing the next run as a “Crazy Hat” run. Everybody has to wear a crazy hat except those who already are crazy. He proudly announced that due to this, he does not need to wear a hat. And under his breath I heard him say that not only is Horse a hare raiser, he is also a hair raiser. Again it was difficult to hear what was going on because Karamba and No More Cum commented on everything being said. So maybe some of the facts written down in this scribe are somewhat influenced by these two guys.
Then all the Filipino Girls were iced, for which reason I do not know but, it nearly got so hot that the ice melted. They were taken off before they were sinking into the mud. Karamba was on the ice again talking about some squirrels getting white fur because they were eating plastic; so to all female hashers, please dispose of used condoms in an environmental friendly way. Then there was a lot of birthday icing and the result was a lot of cold asses not suitable for further celebration. But why was Karamba still on the ice? I heard from reliable sources that he was being kept on the ice because his Thai girlfriend wanted to cool him down. So no more celebration this evening for Karamba as well.
After some more icing and additional pressure from Bottomless Pit on me regarding his performance as the Brewmaster, it was time for the song from the hares, “Swing High Swing Lo” with arms in all directions and for all of us to depart. See you next Monday! After some more icing and additional pressure from Bottomless Pit on me regarding his performance as the Brewmaster, it was time for the song from the hares, “Swing High Swing Lo” with arms in all directions and for all of us to depart. See you next Monday!
On-on Doesn’t Touch the Sides
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 80
49 Runners attended also previous week
389 BALL RINGER; 236 BELL END; 91 BLACK HOLE; 13 CANDY LADY; 180 CRACK MY COCCYX; 65 CRAZY PUSSY; 16 CUPID’S STUD; 153 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1196 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 200 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 288 EXTRA TESTICLE; 85 FLYING FINN; 124 FROG LICKS ITS DICK; 429 G.I. JOE; 82 GANGREEN; 54 HONEY BEAR; 98 HORSE; 7 I LEAN OVER; 156 KEE MAH; 11 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 14 MENTAL DISORDER; 491 MIDNIGHT STAR; 530 MRS. HEAD; 35 NEXT WEEK; 333 ODD-JOB; 37 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 6 PAROU PAROU; 198 PELER; 236 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 18 POCAHONTAS; 29 POSTMAN LICKS TWICE; 18 RUNNING BARE; 137 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 613 SIR ARSE HOPPER; 506 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 608 SIR DOG; 509 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 675 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 5 SOCABEAT; 14 SPERM POLLUTER; 255 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 95 STEPTOE; 227 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 207 SWEETIE; 323 TAMPAX; 78 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 17 VASELINE THIGHS; 280 VELCRO DICK; 606 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 106 WANK-KING’S WANKER
164 BANGKA BLOWER; 149 BILLION SUCKER; 489 BOTTOMLESS PIT; 98 DIRTY HARRY; 599 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 60 HELIUM HEAD; 13 IM LAO; 273 KARAMBA; 872 KING YAO YAO; 122 LIBERACE; 269 LONE WOLF; 75 MARATHON MAN; 11 MR TOILET SEAT; 31 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 128 NO MORE CUM; 6 RUNNING DEER; 515 SIR MC; 191 SKIING FINN; 60 SPECIAL PRICE; 83 TIGER BUM; 17 TIGER PORN
4 Official Leavers
TINY ANAL TORPEDO
2 John Young – Cairo Hash, Egypt
2 PUSSY GALORE – Cairo Hash, Egypt
9 BULLTRACK – Korea Hash
10 AIRPORT – Scandi Hooligan Hash, Norway
LIBERACE Hash Trash – Left a white spray can in the jungle.
ODD-JOB Hash Trash – Left a white spray can in the jungle.
SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC 500th Run T-Shirt
EMPTY SPERMBANK 200th Run
NEXT WEEK 05 Dec
SIR ARSE HOPPER 03 Dec