Scribe Report by Hungarian Hooker Humper (with strong, and much needed assists from Sauce for the Goose and SFW.)
Hello Fellow Hashers Comrade Matey Peeps, It is me, HUNGARIAN HUSKY HUMPER doing his very first scribe. Today’s Hares are: PRINCESS BUM BOY, JUNGLE PRINCESS and JUNGLE MOTHER.
We arrived at a recently used A-Site that was now totally overgrown and everyone had fun and games parking thier expensive cars so that they could actually open the doors.
First circle was called and we welcomed one virgin, Ina from Norway… a woman. We were given a warning about taking too many beers from the beer truck at any one time. Apparently some people have been taking liberties and it has to stop. If you are too lazy to go to the beer truck yourself just be thirsty. The hares explained the run and advised us they would be serving food afterwards.
At 78 years young I went on the walk which turned out to be around 4 kilometres. The young fit bastards were all back earlier then we were with most hashers trotting back in the allotted time and the odd ones traipsing in very late.
I have to say HARBOUR QUICKSTART is the best looking hasher on the run and LONE WOLF chased his tail adequately taking the photos as usual. It is surprising to see old bastards in their 60’s and 70’s looking so fit and running so well.
The hares served food which was chicken,noodles and stir fried vegetables.. Very tasty and plenty of it. SFW as usual insisting everyone buy Raffle tickets and making personal rude remarks dare you attempt to refuse. Nice to see BALL RINGER bringing his son BEN 10 on the run.
Second circle called and the GM ices the hares and asks the Hashers what they thought of the run. Most agreed it was a good run especially remembering they were virgin hares. But then as they had bribed all with food they would say that wouldn’t they.
SFW takes the circle for the Raffle and has pre-arranged for TOSSA to wear a dress donated by EMPEROR AIRHEAD as an extra prize. REAR GUNNER wins the biscuits, G.I. JOE the gin and thinking of the future NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER wins a cuddly penguin and then gives it straight to seven year old NINJA PRINCESS!!! After one false call the dress is claimed by MR GIGGLE SHIT.
All the British put on the ice over the British Lions rugby with New Zealand..
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the hares again.. This man does an excellent job and is a very knowledgeable man indeed and commands everyone’s attention. It was agreed the run was good and the mother of the family gets named JUNGLE MOTHER.
No circle would be complete without the Belgians on the ice to celebrate the fact that NINJA PRINCESS has been granted Belgian citizenship.
Ina from Norway to welcome her to hashing and to advise her that the PH3 will now be her mother hash for all eternity.
WANK-KING’S WANKER takes the circle for the awards. LIBERACE has reached his 350 Runs and my mate PHANTOM was given his 50 Run Cap. DIRT LOONEY has now reached 100 Runs after running with us for 27 years!!!
GM takes the circle to ice the usually suspects,including CRAPPER, who is going back to Australia to celebrate his mother’s 90th birthday, as well as GOLDEN RIVET for something.
SFW, WEE MOANING WEASEL and a visitor called THE NIGERIAN are all iced for coming from the same “hood” in London. It is the first time SFW and THE NIGERIAN have met and it transpires they live only one street away from each other.
LONE WOLF takes over to ice me and PHANTOM to explain I have been pestering my mate to show me how to set up my android TV. I was also found guilty of giving financial advice to bar girls…… as if.!!!.
GM puts WHO CUT THE CHEESE and his wife MISS SUDOKU in the bucket for some reason.
We call on the hares to sing us a song and are rewarded with JUNGLE PRINCESS singing ‘Humpty Dumpty’ to us.
LOST CAUSE is brought in to explain to us why she puts fish heads in the cupboard… Sorry everyone I missed most of this.
BALL RINGER leads the Hash Hymn. WANK-KING’S WANKER looks stupid and acts stupid but it is all an act of course… or is it?
MIDENKI JOL ERESTE MAGAT. Which translated from my native language of Hungarian means: “We had a good time”.
On-On! Hungarian Hooker Humper
Next week’s scribe is to be announced
Total Runners This Week – 71
Hashers Present Last Week – xx
8 Wichuda Prakaykaeu; 44 ARSE VAN HOLE; 610 BALL RINGER; 392 BELL END; 130 BEN 10; 113 CAMEL HUMPER; 34 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 116 CRAPPER; 87 DEL BOY; 105 DESERT SCORPION; 100 DIRT LOONEY; 523 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1407 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 2 FLATULENCE; 640 G.I. JOE; 775 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 108 GOLDEN RIVET; 9 HARBOR QUICKSTART; 11 HOME BREW; 8 HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER; 76 INVISIBLE MAN; 707 LADY FLIPPER; 350 LIBERACE; 440 LONE WOLF; 140 LOST CAUSE; 74 MASTER CHEF; 35 MAYO QUEEN; 165 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 193 MENTAL DISORDER; 9 MISS SUDOKU; 94 MUD CRACKER; 40 MUD’S CRACK; 194 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 364 PELER; 59 PHANTOM; 39 PINK DOLPHIN; 167 PINKABOO; 72 POCKET SOCKET; 97 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 53 RAT VON KIEL; 260 REAR GUNNER; 48 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 109 SCARLET PIMPERNEL; 236 SEAL SUCKER; 74 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 702 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 729 SIR FREE WILLY; 728 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 891 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 441 TAMPAX; 8 THE COUNT; 38 TOSSA; 63 UNSTABLE LOAD; 340 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 11 WEASEL’S WILLY WARMER; 118 WEE MOANING WEASEL; 13 WHO CUT THE CHEESE
Returners – 8
3 Carl Kvistad; 6 ANDY WHOREHOLE; 46 COW FISTER; 20 GIGGLE TITS; 170 GREYHOUND; 10 JUNGLE MOTHER; 22 MR GIGGLE SHIT; 754 MRS. HEAD
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 5
1 THE NIGERIAN – Cairo Hash, Egypt
23 JUNGLE PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
7 NINJA PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
7 NOISY QUEEN – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
6 SILENT PRINCESS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
Virgins – 1
Leavers – 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries – x
LIBERACE was congratulated on completing his 350th Run.
DIRT LOONEY was congratulated on completing his 100th Run.
PHANTOM was awarded his 50th Run Hat.
Hash Name Events – 0
Id Malthe was given the New Hash Name JUNGLE MOTHER.
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Birthdays – 0
~ none this week ~